Are You Smart In Life, Yet Foolish In Love?

Do you destroy everything and everyone in your path? Do you stay calm and composed or are you the bull in a china shop? Do you inflict mainly external or predominantly internal damage?   

Are you rendered immobile, incapacitated? Do you suffer from physical ailments, an attachment disorder? Do you act in a manner you wouldn’t condone or fathom in other circumstances?  

How can you stay sensible, serene, rational, and poised during a disagreement, argument, separation, betrayal?

The crucial component in a healthy partnership: Never abandon your friends, family support system. This is vital to remaining in a satisfactory bond. Enmeshment or losing yourself is the quickest route to failure.

Don’t disappear from your circle of confidantes. Keep your regiment, hobbies, interests, goals, dreams. Don’t go changing to try and please your precious. Specifically, don’t conform to his/her wants, desires, lifestyle, fashion, speech, gestures, peculiarities, etc.  

Couples often begin to look, talk, move, think, dress alike. Your wishes take a back seat your sweetheart’s. You no longer value your own pastimes, yearnings, cravings, ambition.

These are signs and setups for catastrophe. The unhealthy bonds are the most difficult to unhinge from. The more toxic, the harder to disengage; the more your essence is maintained, the easier to detach.

Because love is blind, you’re usually the last to recognize a noxious, deadly link. That’s why it’s essential to continually hold your comrades close, including them in your relationship dailies.

This is preferable to taking a hostage and vanishing from those who sustain, reinforce, and prop you up through thick and thin.

The worst case scenario is an alleged friend who vanishes whilst in a romantic tie, resurfacing only after a split.

Consider that an insensitive, hurtful, selfish, neglectful association. Call him/her a fair weather pal. Contemplate a replacement with someone available, whether or not involved. 

Surround yourself primarily with positive encouragement from people you can count on to cheer you forth, championing your growth and consciousness.  

It’s not necessary to be in a duo to venture out and explore the fun, fine, fanciful, fantastic activities our city offers. Having a bff, buddy, pal, or an acquaintance join you, isn’t a prerequisite for participating in the multitude of awesome happenings in your neighborhood.

One of the many blessings of singledom is the ability to go on an ‘artist’s way date,’ at your whim and fancy (reference Julia Cameron's book "The Artist's Way"). A perfect starting point for a 'date with yourself' is relishing in independent cinema.

Renounce your conviction that there hasn’t been a decent flick since the Oscars. Throw in the towel on waiting until Fall for a worthwhile release. Subsequently, run don’t walk to your nearest Laemmle and watch the myriad of brilliant unique films, i.e. the hidden gems of Spring.

You won’t go wrong choosing: Starbuck, The Sapphires, NO, The Company You Keep, Stoker, Quartet, or the holdover and Best Documentary winner, Searching for Sugarman.

It’s highly feasible you’ll leave the theater feeling uplifted, exuberant, joyful, perhaps quite enlightened and grateful.

Although not an indie, I’m obliged to add “42,” which has equivalent attributes, superbly presented in a similar vein as the pictures listed above, i.e. a purely delightful film to fortify your spirits, strengthen your resolve and passion.

These movies are factual, based on veracity, making them incredibly mind boggling. You haven’t seen them or any semblance of them, before.They’re distinctive, inimitable, incomparable, and extraordinary.

You’ll laugh, cry, ponder, reflect, and discover a renewed faith in humanity, your creative juices certain to overflow.

Assuming you’ve religiously read last week’s column and as a result have ‘eliminated excuses and are surrendering to serendipity,’ you won’t want to miss the Over 45 Mixer, Wednesday April 17, 7:30pm, at Studio City’s cozy, quaint restaurant, Raphael, 11616 Ventura Blvd., 818-505-3337.

Arrive solo or collect cohorts to accompany you. Arnon Raphael is hosting this event to gather bachelors/bachelorettes and afford an opportunity to meet your match face to face, the charming old fashioned way.

Hostess, Meredith, has intriguing ice breakers planned to welcome you and help spark up conversation. Attempt to pull yourself away from the impersonal internet, where it’s impossible to adequately sense who you’re communing with. 

It’s that sixth sense that imparts the wisdom, should you decide to plug into it, vital to deciphering the authenticity of your intended. Countless eligible men/women forget to utilize instincts, ignoring flaming red flags that turn out to be detrimental in the long run.

Go with your gut. Trust your core. It’s always right.

After hooking up at Raphael, be sure to invite your new found buddy, beloved, or embark on another artist’s way date to see “The Vagina Monologues” at the Two Roads Theatre, 4348 Tujunga Avenue, Studio City, Friday and Saturday, April 19-20, at 8pm.

This provocative, stimulating, and poignant show depicts true stories about women’s attempts to overcome society’s stigmas by embracing and celebrating their sexuality. As with every production of the hysterical, eye-opening, and heart-wrenching piece, all proceeds go to a local charity.

Enjoy an unforgettable evening that will inspire, move, empower, and transform you beyond your wildest imagination. You’ll see your sexuality in a whole novel light and revel in your inherent freedom for pleasure, devoid of society’s taboos.

Take a risk and enter the treasured “fake orgasm contest,” which consistently brings the audience to their feet in uncontrollable applause and amusement.

Winners receive Pleasure Chest Gift Bags worth over $40. There’s a $1 raffle for Jopen, Lelo, and Pleasure Chest vibrators; Chocolate Vagina Lollipops for sale @ $1; and V-Day Studio City T-shirts @ $20.

Profits are dispersed to Peace Over Violence, the notable social service agency, dedicated to ending all forms of interpersonal violence through education and awareness. Tickets: $20 cash at the door; in advance at Ticketweb.com.

Come early for scrumptious dining at the marvelous Aroma Coffee and Tea or Vitello’s Restaurant. 

On Sunday April 21, 6-9pm at the River Rock Lounge, Sportsmen’s Lodge, 12833 Ventura Blvd., Studio City, 818-432-7500, take advantage of a second chance to catch the outstanding vocals of local songstress, RIVA, an additional occasion for an artist’s way experience.  

She’ll seduce you with her sultry flair, elegant singing of torch, ballads, and vintage tunes plus a dash of country and jazz. Her backup band includes talented musicians: Alexandra Caselli, keyboards; Mike flick, upright bass; and Larry Stensvold, guitar. Great food, appetizers, drinks. No cover.

The same night at 6pm, for a strictly singles soiree ages 40 +, attend a Spring Dinner Dance at the Mediterranean Express (Cabaret Tehran), 16101 Ventura Blvd., Suite #160, Encino 91346. It’s not obligatory to appear in a pack. Entering unattached is entirely acceptable.  

The restaurant’s seating capacity is 250. There’s a huge dance floor, lively bar, expansive stage, and amazing sound system. Entertainment by Bobby and the Angels, a five piece group, plays 50s, 60s rock, surf and car tunes.

A delicious buffet served from 6-7:30p consists of: Chicken Kababs (marinated boneless chicken; Lamb Shank/Baghali Polo (shredded lamb, rice, fava beans & fresh dill); Beef/Chicken Kobideh (ground beef/chicken marinated in onions & spices);Tabouli salad; hummus & chips; Olovieh salad (Persian/Russian Potaro Salad); mixed vegetables.

15 different organizations (aqes 40+) are expected to convene, e.g. LA Singles Society, No Waiting Dating, LA Single Boomers, LA Baby Boomers, Smart Singles, Dr. Dan's, Santa Monica Hiking Club, Bobbi Palmer Dating Coach, Beverly Hills West LA Dating & Networking Club, Sweet Sexy Savvy Singles, Speed Dating of LA, Laughter Parties.

Cost: $20 at http://lasinglessociety.com/admin/articles/preview.php?article=1090; by calling Fred Gansky with credit card info at 818-342-3311; or by check made out to Harkitt Corporation (parent company of LA Singles Society) mailed to 4145 Nogales Dr., Tarzana, CA 91356. Prepayment deadline: 3pm, April 21. $25 at the door.