Gross Things We Did As Children

Ok, let’s face it: Most children are gross. Granted, I don’t have any, but from the feeds I get on Facebook from my parenting friends, some of the things kids do can really turn the stomach.

And it seems most kids either grow up learning some of these things from their peers or siblings, or perhaps, they’re simply born with these inclinations.  Honestly, I don’t know how my mom put up with six of us, all engaged in some degree of questionable toddler behavior.

I remember swallowing one of my brother’s Cub Scout pins when I was about three. It was so cute and shiny; I probably thought it was some sort of Halloween candy. Once my mom found out about my accomplishment, she had to keep a handy aluminum pan nearby whenever I had to go poo poo.  Eventually, the little sucker was found, and she could breathe a sigh of relief.  I wonder if my brother ever put that pin back on his uniform before he returned to those Cub Scout meetings?

On the front lawn of our house on Pacoima Court, Teresa and I used to use a magnifying glass to scorch ants and beetles. It seems so sadistic now, but we found great fascination in watching those little insects curl up from the heat, shrivel and die.  We also delighted in putting flies and moths into spider webs and watching as the arachnid pounced upon the little critter, wrap it in a silk-like cocoon and save it for a Thanksgiving feast.

No wonder my science classes at Walter Reed and NHHS were some of my favorites. Who remembers dissecting frogs and slicing cow’s eyes?

My friend Erika has a sister who smeared diarrhea all over the walls of her bedroom when she was small. At the same time, Erika had fallen into a puddle of tar, and her brother was vomiting all over the living room.  Her mom was in a tizzy as to which incident demanded her attention the most, so she called her mother to come over and assist.  Smart decision.

And what kid hasn’t picked their nose and decided that it was a breakfast treat? That’s a good one for gross-out material.

My brothers used to pin me to the floor, and while sitting on top of me, let a loogie drip onto my face. Of course, this was prefaced with a bunch of saliva teases before they’d let the big one drop. Ugh!

Or how about show and tell, where you cram a mouthful of potato salad into your mouth, and open wide to show everyone your mastication skills? Delightful.

Of course there’s the usual belching and farting, which is pretty common in adult-land as well.  Maybe some behaviors are never completely outgrown.

What are some of your grossest experiences? Care to play show and tell?