Blog: Celine Gets New Gams – Jared A New Doll – Pikey Is In Jail – Morty A New Girl

In the beginning…

Celine couldn’t remember where, when or how she lost her legs but she remembered being bullied while growing up. Kids shouted, “Hey Celine - wanna be our second base?” or “Holy chopsticks – look at that egg fly!” She often scampered her way on her stumps but she slid out of her wheelchair faster than a canary drops in a coal miner’s cave. Sometimes the girls would trick her into thinking she was “good enough to be their friend” by asking, “Hey! Wanna roll over and get a slice of pie?” or by informing her, “When you grow up you’ll still be nothing but a stump and no one will ever love you.”

Most kids would’ve grown up damaged or not at all. Perhaps she was in a way. She was guilty of finding the fun in everything, everywhere and with everybody – or maybe her perceptions were skewered from having to adapt to a brutal world. Instead of becoming hardened – Celine viewed her life as a great big sandbox with no boundaries. If others kept theirs closed she persisted to invite them into hers.

To the world Celine was strange and to the strange – unbeknownst to them – they were the only family she knew. If you told Celine she was from Wichita? She would agree and say: “Dorothy loved Kansas! I even doggie-sat for Toto once.”… then she would begin to sing – “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”… as people would stare or drop a few quarters onto her spread out Persian padded blanket in the evenings on Hollywood Boulevard.

Celine performed on her colorfully socked stumps – executing acrobat tricks – funambulist ones at a low rope rise - that brought her some revenue. When she was small - other kids hurled rocks or pennies at her but now she could pull in larger coins and the even rarer bills of George. The foreign tourists were the kindest as were the local hookers and some of her homeless village.

To Celine – love meant putting out for anyone who would touch her even if she didn’t like it. Any brief moment of human contact felt like what a hug would be to a baby nestled against a new mother’s breast – that sensation Celine had ached for. She was no dummy but she was gullible.

At first – she was a rat among many – living on the docks surrounding the harbour of Los Angeles. Being homeless in the port was far worse than what she would find in Hollywood but it was here that she first spied Morty - the handsome 4’6” dwarf.  He was destined to be the man who would become her partner in life. Celine watched him daily as he walked by in a suit and tie trying to get into a film that was shooting locally. As he passed her – he would tip his hat and smile. Every day he walked over to a man with a walkie talkie and every day Morty got tossed off the pier into the water.

Apparently – the grunt with the radio had a beef with Morty.

Morty would drag himself out cussing and screaming, “I’m gonna sue your ass for wrecking my suit! I’m a union man and I want back on the list!” The grunt would laugh – shake his head and yell out through cupped hands so all could hear: “Hey lil gipper – go play with flipper. Little people don’t have unions on this set.”

Morty saw red and shot him his middle finger – with an antagonist wag, “Stuntman’s union! Set on this!” The grunt retorted, “And Lou Gossett, Jr. isn’t your dad, either. Personally, I think you look more like a mini Don Cheadle!” As he roared – Morty spat back, “You’ll see mouron… one of these days your job will be to drive me to set.” The grunt laughed so hard tears rolled down his face as Morty stomped off – middle finger extended.

When he was out of sight – Celine turned towards the grunt. Seeing her made him uncomfortable: “Hey Mr. port monitor… how much they pay you to beat people down? I bet your mother is really proud of you. Wanna dance?” With that – Celine tilted her wheelchair and started chairing around him until the other homeless came forward and booed while tossing garbage at him. Like any coward would – he radioed for help and snickered as they scampered off.

Later - Celine saw Morty curled up in a ball by a garbage can asleep with a liquor bottle in his hands. Morty was a drunk – the falling down kind of alcoholic that broke hearts. After having met so many – Celine didn’t want hers ripped apart by that legal liquid drug and decided to move on until Morty either came to – or died.

Morty’s drinking worsened as the film wrapped – so hungover was he that the grunt not only tossed him into the waves but fished him out and flat back onto the pier – his little body splayed like a limp doll. The grunt leaned over: “Hey lil gipper – I said go play with - not drown like flipper.” Morty was out cold.

Celine wheeled over to Morty and another homeless man put Morty onto her lap. She took him back to her place in the bushes – cleaned him up and watched him sleep – fitfully. When Morty awakened – bewildered that he was wearing fresh clothes – he looked around. Nothing. Everything ached as he rubbed his eyes to see more clearly – that’s when the note came into focus on a bag that held his other clothes. With shaky hands he opened and read it:

Dear Morty,
I took care of you last night
but I can’t do it every night
‘cause it would hurt too much.
I hope you get sober.
~ Celine ~

Months later - Celine had made her way to the streets of the known – unknown – hopefuls – hopeless and the other homeless in Hollywood. It would be here that she met and spoke with Morty for the first time.

On a late and hoppin’ mad night outside of Ricardo’s Rehab Bar – filled with juices and eclectic waters from around the world – the customers were expected to bring – hide and hold their own booze while not ruining Ricardo’s reputation in LA’s money-machine on the recovery scene. Homeless – Sam the Can - entered drunk and saw Celine rolled up at the bar in her wheelchair. An Asian tourist had offered to buy her some juice after observing her street show. Celine imitated his Japanese so well the tourist bought her another round as his friends took pictures of her with their cameras.

Morty was in the corner of the bar watching and sipping his Black Jack with soda. He knew what Sam the Can was capable of - raping anything that moved - and hated him as much as Pikey Pram Pusher did. Sam had no respect in the homeless community but he was 6’6” of husky that scared people – even the cops – and they were after him.

Morty was getting madder and readied himself as Sam made the play for Celine’s attention by pushing the Asian tourist aside. He twirled her wheelchair – turning her to face him. Morty had his slingshot armed and thwacked Sam the Can’s barren skull with a large steely – then another and then a stream of marbles were pummeling him. Sam was screaming in agony – he couldn’t see through his swelling eyes. No one stepped in to help – until…

Morty jumped down off of his stool and dragged it with him towards Sam. In a dance move he was atop the stool and began socking Sam as hard as he could with a sockful of marbles – then he jumped down and started wheeling Celine out with: “Don’t you ever touch my girl! Ever and that means every one of you or I’ll kill ya!” Celine never had a man protect her let alone make an announcement that she belonged. Morty winked at her and asked: “You don’t mind if I call you Shorty do ya? We’re the same size.” Celine grinned and nodded with realization that she was meeting her first boyfriend in her life – that she could remember – and he already had a pet name for her. Her face lit up like a fire-fall.

Back on the metro Jared continued playing air guitar to create his space when he noticed a little girl’s doll. He snatched it and struck poses - as the girl screamed in terror – then turned the Elvis tunes in his earbuds - off. Jared stopped – kneeled down and stared at the little girl until she shock stopped with tears dripping down. A speechless mother and train car load listened to him. “Listen little girl. Do you know what doll addiction is? You’re what? Six – maybe seven?” She nodded. “Exactly… Does mommy or daddy drink too much?” She nodded with a sniffle. “Okay, that’s addiction and what they’re not telling you is that puppet addiction is the most dangerous thing in the world – maybe the entire universe so I’m going to give this doll a new home with other dolls who try to take over little kids’ minds – would that be okay with you?” Jared patted the little girl’s head into agreement.

Her mother was about to say something and Jared turned swiftly with a simple: “Don’t. Really. No need to thank me.” The metro train stopped and Jared had only one thing in mind – Morty. “I gotta bounce… Got me a dummy to locate.” He turned to the nervous passengers –  popped his earbuds back in and held the doll up – “Have a reality day and night. Seriously – folks.” Then he was gone.

The Demerol was wearing off as Celine laid sideways on the hospital gurney - watching Morty happily crafting her new legs. She adored this man who had her back and he knew that she had his. Separately they had been through so much yet together there was never a day they didn’t feel they couldn’t conquer even if just a slice of it – together. Celine looked at the child’s backpack he always carried for her leg repair – if needed and smiled. In this moment she felt a deeper love and respect for Morty than she had ever felt – which was a lot.

For now they were safe as Morty held up Celine’s new crutch leg with proud proclamation: “It’s much better than the others – toots! I bet it’s strong enough to lift me up.” He placed the new crutch leg – along with her spared mannequin leg – onto the gurney and hopped up alongside Celine. They hugged and Morty wanted to be sure that she would be awake enough to make the trip back to Hollyweird or to their make-shift home. Better than the cardboard condos most had – Morty had built them a shack of sorts that was portable enough to move at the first flashlight’s beam.

Gently he helped her get her legs on and when Celine stood up – she surprised Morty by picking him up off the gurney. He loved his girl’s strength and she loved his newly sober days.

In Mr. Weldon’s office he had heard the loud knock on his door - pulled the candy wrapper off of his newly awakened face and picked up the package on the floor. He stood and peered out the door and saw Krazy Kate hustling down the hallway while humming. He smiled knowing Kate would want some extras for this gift and was anxious to find out what it was.

The social worker ripped the dirty weather torn manila envelope open and pulled out a DVD entitled: E.M. Fredric – Early Works. He slid it into his player and sat back to watch the show on an old TV set provided by social services.

Pikey Pram Pusher was just coming to in the back of the paddy wagon. He didn’t understand why he was being punished for saving Shorty and Morty – especially Celine. Pram had been here before and knew he would get his three squares a day for a night and they would kick him to the streets in the cold.

Life in the correction-al state of mind where humanity lines blur – consciences get distracted or lost and the love of another human being is goes missing…like sinkholes.

Pikey hummed: “I want my… I want my… I want my EMF…”

To be continued...

Last week's story:

7. Pikey Pram Pusher – The Homeless Hood of Shorty & Morty

http://studiocity.patch.com/blog_posts/blog-pikey-pram-pusher-the-homele...

Short Stories/Interviews From The Beginning:

1. Zippy & Kate:  Two Left Feed in the ER with Shorty & Morty: http://studiocity.patch.com/blog_posts/bloggin-two-feet-left-in-the-er-w...

2. Peter: Running Young ‘n Homeless in Hollywood – Shorty & Morty: http://studiocity.patch.com/blog_posts/blog-running-young-n-homeless-in-...

3. Razor: Countin’ On The Homeless Cenus – Hollywood @ Steak with Shorty & Morty: http://studiocity.patch.com/blog_posts/blog-countin-on-the-homeless-cens... 

4. Steven Huber: Composer Steven Huber Creates A Theme Song for Shorty & Morty http://studiocity.patch.com/blog_posts/blog-composer-steve-huber-creates...

5. Jared: Everybody’s Got A Bully – Even Hollywood’s Homeless: http://studiocity.patch.com/blog_posts/blog-everybodys-got-a-bully-even-...

Like us on FB!: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shorty-Morty/201393686598943?ref=hl

6. Josh Jalil & Peter: The Camera Guy – Shorty & Morty’s Homeless Shooter: http://studiocity.patch.com/blog_posts/blog-the-camera-guy-shorty-mortys...

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