.

AHOY, Christopher Columbus

The sad tale of Christopher Columbus.

Poor Christopher Columbus, he don't get no respect. 

His pals all thought the earth was flat, so what do you expect? 

Isabella, at her ATM had handed him some 20s,

then ordered lots of Starbuck's Joe -- a big bad case of ventes. 

He ran to the marina to buy himself some ships --

Nina, Pinta, Santa Marina -- he also bought some chips. 

He looked all over Genoa for strong and steady sailors. 

He DM-ed all his twitter pals and sent out stacks of mailers. 

His Groupon deal went over.  OMG/was huge! 

Too many guys responded.  It was really a deluge. 

They set sail for the New World.  The seas were really rough. 

Many died while others cried -- played 'Taps' upon the bugle. 

First Mate (such a smartass) said, "We should've just used Google." 

Excited at the sight of land they raised their flag and clapped. 

Tribal folk guided them ashore since their energy was sapped. 

"Welcome," said the leaders, "We're glad to have you here.  

Lief Erickson just sailed away and left a case of beer." 

They sat and smoked a peace pipe, what else was there to do? 

The Chief hoisted up his glass and said, "Hey Chris, this Bud's for you." 

Poor Chris, he got depressed and sad.  Cried his heart out, don't you reckon?

No one ever won first prize for discovering the New World second.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Ilona Saari October 08, 2012 at 04:13 PM
LOL - loved it. Gonna share on twitter and facebook.
Fritzi October 08, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Wonderful, as usual!
Bob Blanchard October 09, 2012 at 04:38 AM
It is a relief to read a clever, humorous piece amid all the flapping gums and election mud slinging. It lets a little sunshine in my day and I would guess for others as well. You are so clever. Thanks for the sunshine.
Irene DeBlasio October 09, 2012 at 02:06 PM
Ilona, Fritzi and Bob -- being my fan club is your job. The nice things you say always make my day. You're my own private Mafia mob.

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