Blog: Santa, Bring It On!

A list of suggestions for Santa.

It's weeks before Christmas and Santa's preparing
A wish list of goodies with great thought and caring.

We have some suggestions we'd like to impart,
We certainly hope that he'll take them to heart.

John Boehner? That's easy...we know what he needs.
Forget the Merlot and the blue worry beads.

He sure needs testicular fortitude
Instead of displaying his fake gratitude.

Hillary's cool and doesn't need much:
Hair, makeup,  wardrobe, a finishing touch.

Senator Reid, OMG I'm confessin'
We need to donate a speech therapy lesson.

Is it me? I don't know -- we can't hear what you say.
Hey, you know what?  Maybe it's better that way.

Yoko Ono is back -- can we send her away?
To her own private island?  Can we do it today?

Hello Kitty paintbox?  Nothing's too good.
We'll help her pack.  Is she gone? Knock wood!

Matt Lauer is sour The millions he's paid?
He needs to go home and make lemonade.

Paul Krugman delights his readers each day
With the dismal facts about how we will pay

For mistakes in the past and all that mush.
No matter what happens he still blames George Bush.

A pencil-thin mustache for Prexy's disguise
When he boards Air Force One and takes to the skies.

Can we make him stay home?  We've a country to save.
It's the land of the free and the home of the brave.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Geraldo Cruz December 09, 2012 at 07:33 PM
I love this! Good stuff!
Irene DeBlasio December 09, 2012 at 08:11 PM
@G.Cruz You are obviously a man, woman, child or tranny of great wisdom and superb taste. Fortunately, for me, poetry is easy (comedy is hard). I appreciate your astute comment. Keep comin' back!
William Bauer December 09, 2012 at 08:51 PM
It is good stuff and I am only one of the previously aforementioned persons.
Geraldo Cruz December 09, 2012 at 09:53 PM
Thank you for the nice welcome, Irene. It's not easy having such a common name and standing out just a little so I'm happy if I managed to do that if only for a moment. Last time I checked I was a man. Hopefully there have been no recent developments to the contrary. I would check but my significant other might get suspiscious if they catch me writing a post to a beautiful woman such as yourself with my pants down.around my ankles. Thank you for enteretaining us lowly Patch readers! Regards, Geraldo Cruz
Irene DeBlasio December 09, 2012 at 10:35 PM
@G.Cruz @WilliamBauer Gentlemen, Welcome. No need to check your anatomy -- we are an equal-opportunity blog post -- definitely not gender-specific. Time for you to get your blood work. Just kidding. As an old opinionated bag I am thrilled to see your comments. Thank you! Luckily, anything "vintage" is the new black. YAY, I'm "in".
Geraldo Cruz December 10, 2012 at 12:31 AM
Irene I know i've seen your name before and looked at the sites I read every day. The best of the web on the WSJ? Impressive! Don't take this the wrong way but you certainly get around young lady! Do you work there too?
Irene DeBlasio December 10, 2012 at 12:57 AM
@G.Cruz WOW! That's impressive -- I DO contribute to "Best of the Web" on the Wall Street Journal and they list my name whenever they use anything of mine. Most of my friends don't bother to read the credits at the bottom of the column. Now my secret is out. Are you sure you don't work for Homeland Security? You are one clever dude! Now I have to work extra hard to get my name on tomorrow's edition.
Bob Blanchard December 10, 2012 at 05:56 AM
Another superb piece. Mr. Editor, She should be referred to as the Poet Laureate of Studio City. I continue to be amused and entertained by the quality and variety of her blogs. Thank you for brightening my day when I see a new submission from you. Keep up the good work.
Irene DeBlasio December 10, 2012 at 04:57 PM
@BobBlanchard Mr. B, I cannot properly express my gratitude for your support. Los Angeles probably has more writers than any other major city. They work anonymously for the most part (except in theatrical film). I am so flattered that people like you take the time to comment on a poem or blog post. Honestly...I think you are the unofficial president of my fan club. A poet laureate was recently named for Los Angeles, but I happily accept the post for Studio City. Do you know of any proclamations we'll be marking soon? Our Mayor is back in town -- does that count?
Irene DeBlasio December 10, 2012 at 10:44 PM
@G.Cruz YAY! My name appears on WSJ "Best of the Web" again today as a contributor! But, I'm sure you knew that....
Geraldo Cruz December 11, 2012 at 12:32 AM
You beat me to the punch. Mayvbe it's OCD but I have my long list of what I need to check every morning so yes I saw it already.Bravo. I hope we can expect a poem for end of the world day later in the month. Just incase!
Irene DeBlasio December 11, 2012 at 02:17 AM
@G.Cruz Rumor has it that Disney may buy Detroit and change it's name to "Tomorrowland". That would require a poem too. If I work hard I can probably handle both landmarks before we all perish.
Geraldo Cruz December 11, 2012 at 03:47 AM
Tomorrowland? Why, was Dilapidatedland already taken?
chloe December 11, 2012 at 07:43 AM
Very funny. I read it aloud to my boyfriend and he made me read it twice! We love it.
Irene DeBlasio December 11, 2012 at 02:26 PM
@G.Cruz Detroit is a template for urban decay. It's what many of our cities will look like in the future -- too many are going bankrupt. Hence, "Tomorrowland".
Irene DeBlasio December 11, 2012 at 02:37 PM
@chloe Why not memorize it? Just kidding. I'm so flattered that you are keeping your boyfriend in the loop by reading my poetry and blog posts to him. I had a friend in college who would call a house meeting of our dorm (Reynolds Hall at Endicott) on Monday nights. She instituted "culture night" during which each student was asked to participate by writing a poem, song, short story, review, or to perform a song, dance, pantomime, whatever -- we were each called on to perform. We eventually acted out World War 11 -- some very funny bits. I represented Italy and my rommate was Poland. How I wish we had Youtube back in the 1950s. Many thanks for your comments. I appreciate you (and your boyfriend).
Irene DeBlasio December 11, 2012 at 09:51 PM
@G.Cruz My name is on the "Best of the Web" contributor's list again today. Thanks WSJ.


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