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Blog: The Zombie Apocalypse is Coming!

Thanksgiving is a tradition -- not someone else idea of what it should or shouldn't be.

Did you ever hear of the Anti-Thanksgiving?  I hadn't either until I caught part of the ABC News with Diane Sawyer the other night.  She had a brief interview featuring Sam Sifton who apparently had been a New York Times restaurant critic for two years.  The gentleman has written a book, "Thanksgiving, How to Cook it Well."  He has some definite rules about our most American of all holidays.  He tells us that Thanksgiving is very scary.  If we invite family and friends to partake of our homemade meal we become stressed pondering if we have enough plates and glasses.  We wonder how to handle Uncle Morty, the alcoholic?  We focus on all the logistics and problems.  His solution is to use lots of butter and have lots of cranberry sauce and lots of gravy.  He tells us to set the table and make sure to give thanks.  Okay -- we're good so far.

He explains that cooking a turkey is just like cooking a big chicken.  Yeah...right.  The only problem with this line of thought is that you're functioning in a kitchen with the oven turned on all day.  One Thanksgiving, we had some wind blowing and it knocked out power all day.  Okay, so you're in this inferno all day because you're roasting your big chicken (which weighs more than your baby grand piano).  He elaborates on how you're just making some mashed potatoes.  As a matter of fact, he claims you're just mashing everything to go on the dinner plate.  He says that's what Thanksgiving should be -- a group of mashed foods.

Now is where we begin to have trouble.  He specifically forbids any appetizers!  That's right!  He claims that the aroma of a turkey roasting is enough to tantalize the palate.  I truly wonder if he is watching football at his house?  How do you explain to starving people watching a football game that the gentleman who was the food critic of the New York Times has laid down the law.  No appetizers for you! 

If you think that one is strange, listen to this!  No salad!  That's right, a New Yorker trying to tell Californians that salad is not permtted on his recommendation!  Could this be the reason he was only on the food pages for two years until he was given the title of national editor?  Now for dessert -- there are only three choices.  You must have pie -- pumpkin, apple or pecan.  He forbids anything chocolate!  Otherwise, he will send in the food police and they will carry you off and lock you away until you know better.

I don't know what's happening to our society.  When Nanny Bloomberg prohibits a fully grown adult from drinking a 16-ounce beverage and people begin to force their will on others claiming their ideas will provide good health then I think our liberties are being taken away.  As reasonably intelligent adults there are decisions we should be able to make for ourselves. 

This Thanksgiving I'm especially grateful to be an American who still appreciates the great old traditions.  I refuse to join the Zombie Apocalypse!  I happen to like salad, appetizers and chocolate.  And I dare you to send the food police.  I'm keeping a coconut custard pie in the fridge -- so you better watch out!

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William Bauer November 18, 2012 at 03:12 PM
It's a good thing Sam and nanny Bloomberg weren't at the first Thanksgiving. They would not have lasted long at the festivities. Perhaps the next thing will be a veggie turkey. I'm surprised PETA hasn't stepped in about our mass murder ot turkeys.
Irene DeBlasio November 18, 2012 at 03:23 PM
@William LOL -- you're right about the first Thanksgiving! I have no objection to any vegetarian or vegan -- these people have made a commitment to a certain lifestyle -- good for them! I simply can't explain why some people need to exert their ideas about good health on the rest of us. Sort of like: "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." I can't name one part of government that runs efficiently, with the possible exception of the FCC. Thanks for the comment.
chloe November 18, 2012 at 06:47 PM
I'll be having a slice of that coconut pie!
Ilona Saari November 18, 2012 at 07:29 PM
And my mom always made mince meat pie as well as pumpkin. Your article was fun, Irene... made me smile - I'm sure the guy's book would make me LOL. I think it's great to give people advice - and we all have the option to listen or not listen, take the advice or not take it. Tho, I'm pretty sure that the Pilgrims and Native Americans didn't have appetizers... so if we're being truly "traditional"...<g> I wonder if they had pies? All that said, the Mayor Bloomberg thing is just stupid. If parents want to slowly kill their kids w/ that crap, and they are, as obesity rates rise & related sicknesses in young adults have, too, then so be it. Tho there's nothing 'traditional' about any supersize fast food portion. ;o)
Irene DeBlasio November 18, 2012 at 09:03 PM
@chloe I don't blame you -- I love it too. I think most people of my age really appreciate the appetizers. Before dinner it provides a chance for people to mingle and get caught up on each other's news. I like to have a small portion of lturkey, stuffing, salad and dessert. Thank you for taking the time to tell us your favorite.
Irene DeBlasio November 18, 2012 at 09:23 PM
@Ilona In the words of Edward Winslow, "Our harvest being gotten in, our governor sent four men on fowling, that so we might after a special manner rejoice together after we had gathered the fruit of our labors. They four in one day killed as much fowl as, with a little help beside, served the company almost a week. At which time, among other recreations, we exercised our arms, many of the Indians coming amongst us, and among the rest their greatest king Massasoit, with some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted, and they went out and killed five deer, which they brought to the plantation and bestowed upon our governor, and upon the captain, and others. And although it be not always so plentiful as it was at this time with us, yet by the goodness of God, we are so far from want that we often wish you partakers of our plenty." They had cabbage, carrots, squash and peas -- possibly some grapes, etc. The Native Americans came to check on all the shooting, then decided to contribute some of their own favorites and stick around for three days. I love mincemeat pie too. Nanny Bloomberg should take care of his own drinks and let parents provide guidance for their kids -- portion control as well as nutrition.
Irene DeBlasio November 19, 2012 at 04:29 PM
@Ilona Wine has the highest sugar content of any alcoholic beverage. A 6 oz. glass of wine contains 4 grams of sugar. Suppose Nanny Bloomberg began limiting the intake of wine? I don't know what the Mayor of New York drinks but I doubt that he would limit anybody's intake of spirits. If he wanted to do something positive, he should give lectures at public schools in the city regarding the nutritional value of foods the kids like in order to raise their awareness. Too many people in politics want to push their views on others without actually participating in the education process. It's like our City Council putting out their fiat about "Meatless Mondays" without any rhyme or reason. We know Tony V. was practicing yoga and adhering to the Monday routine. But suppose the Mayor's new girlfriend decides to take up sky-diving or Nascar racing? Mayors should do their job and run the city in which they were elected. God Bless the John Lindsays of the world. The were always accessible and did their best to uplift society. (Rudy cleaned up New York and did a great job too.)

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