The Wimpy Way.

Dear Mr. President and Mr. Mayor,

You both had a rare opportunity to inspire us but you goofed by taking the wimpy way out.

Mayor Bill de Blasio will not be marching in the St. Patrick’s Day parade even though it’s been a longtime tradition of New York Mayors to “honor the Irish”.  President Barack Obama did not attend the Olympics in Sochi, Russia but sent Janet Napolitano, Brian Boitano and Billie Jean King (who needed to drop out due to illness in her family) to accompany the United States Team and Delegation.  Both men in the highest leadership positions in the country were sending a message, “If you don’t play by my rules, I’m not playing!”  They must be seated at the kiddie table from now on.  Yes I do understand all the implications involved and realize they are both intent on standing up for the human rights of the LBGT community.  By not attending these functions you are doing nothing to promote human rights.  Both of you should have accepted the invitations with the proviso that a small select group be permitted to accompany you.  The people chosen could have represented the gay community and made a positive contribution by raising awareness.   

Why do our elected representatives find it necessary to impose their own politics on special occasions like this?  I grew up a neighborhood where the local country club and social club were “restricted”.  We all knew what that meant.  While we may have wanted to take action against these institutions, they were privately owned organizations entitled to making their own rules.  There are ways to raise awareness without being hateful, petty and vindictive but it requires engagement.

New York is deeply indebted to the Irish immigrants (as well as the German, Italian, Polish, Chinese, Puerto Rican, etc.).  If the Sons of Hibernia doesn’t allow certain groups to be represented in the parade, Mayor de Blasio should have called a meeting with them to make suggestions.  Where the President of the United States is having a conflict with Russian President Vladimir Putin, why does he go out of his way to deepen the conflict instead of using that famous diplomacy of his?

When I was about 10 or 11 years old I remember saving a piece of chocolate cake after dinner one night, thinking I would have it as an after-school snack the next day.  I wrapped it carefully and found a good hiding place for it way in the back of the refrigerator.  The next afternoon I returned home and my brother was doing his homework on the recreation room table.  He had come home earlier than usual because Riverdale Country Day School was on vacation and driving one of their school buses was his part-time job. He didn’t have to work for a few days because they were on spring break.  I put down my books beside his and went to get my piece of cake. Frank asked me if there was anything good to eat?  I said that I had saved my chocolate cake from dessert last night.  His eyes lit up, “Bring it over.”  I explained that I would share it with him, but he must let me divide it.  I brought the cake to the table and unwrapped it.  Then I turned back to the kitchen to get some glasses of milk, napkins, two forks, two paper plates and a knife.  When I rounded up all the stuff and headed back to the table, he lifted the cake in defiance and began licking it all over.  How disgusting!  “Mom, come here!” I ran to the stairway to scream and register my complaint with my mother.  “Frank licked my piece of cake.  He licked the whole thing, even the icing!  It’s my cake.  He’s such an idiot!”  She was there in a flash.   Frank held his fork up in the air, aiming – ready to dive bomb into the cake.  “You’re such an idiot!”  I repeated several more times.  She asked Frank if he had licked the cake?  He admitted that he had.  She turned to me and said, “Stop calling your brother an idiot.”  She made him apologize to me.  He also had to promise to drive me to the bakery and buy a dessert of my choice.  He agreed to do it as soon as he finished eating my cake. Then she turned to me and said, “I don’t ever want to hear you calling anybody nasty names again.  Now apologize to your brother!”  Without thinking twice I said, “I’m sorry you’re such an idiot!”  Did I mention that the trip to the bakery was officially cancelled?

Mr. President and Mr. Mayor I’m sorry that my mother is not around to mete out your punishment.  Please grow up and learn how to set a better example for the rest of the country.  If you are both so concerned about human rights why not practice what you preach?   Stop all foreign aid to countries with the most vile abuses of human rights.  Why not show consistency?  Why do we give five billion dollars to Pakistan, billions to Iran?  Why do we sit by and watch China deny their people rights and force women to have abortions?  Why don’t we speak up against the unspeakable torture of the people of Darfur and Cambodia, about the children dying of lead poisoning while working in the mines of Nigeria?  You use diplomacy  with our enemies but by not attending the opening of the Olympics or sending the First Lady or the Vice President you display a certain attitude which does not foster understanding to unite us in peace and honor traditions.  As the saying goes – you can catch more bears with honey than vinegar.  Our Olympic team of athletes are worth the extra effort. You should have honored them as they marched carrying our flag in the opening ceremony.  It was more important for you to show them your support than to throw an expensive over-the-top shindig at the White House during these tough economic times.  You can be a hero or a wimp -- it's up to you.

You might have been able to bring about positive global awareness and real “hope and change”.   You can start by speaking up on behalf of others, using more diplomatic means while being respectful of the rules others live by.  It’s not that difficult.  In fact, it’s a piece of cake.