What Do You Want For Father's Day?

You wouldn’t want a telescope or silly Bigfoot cap.

You’d never like "Duck Dynasty" or music sung in rap.

Armani shirt and Zegna tie could really do the trick.

Or any kind of gadget that does stuff when you click.

A promissory coupon is dumb beyond belief.

I will not mention Omaha or ask you, "Where’s the beef"

A Champagne Brunch is tiring, cuts right into your day.

You could have gone out sailing or snoozing in the hay.

Socks are sort of silly unless you’re G.H.W. Bush.

Vintage cars are wonderful but always need a push.

Nobody needs to wear a watch since cell phones tell the time.

Heineken or Corona’s good, especially with lime.

No one watches TV to see their favorite show

They tape them now and binge watch, in case you didn’t know.

You wouldn’t want a drone or rocket-propelled grenade.

So how about a hot dog and some ice cold lemonade?