Blog: What's Wrong With Me? (Big Girl Advice)

Hi Kelly,

My name is Joanna, I’m 25 years old and I’m from Greece…Oh and I’m 125kg ..yeah I’m a big girl…My body changed a lot the last 5 years…I have already lost 25 kg and I’m trying to lose the rest of the weight but it so hard…

My problem is I cannot find a guy who wants to date me… many men talking to me in dating sites because I have a pretty face and I have met some of them (6 already) 3 of them wanted just sex and the other 3 keep talking to me but in friendly way…

I read what you wrote for online dating ..but I m so embarrassed post a photo of my body… you were right but I never tell lies about my weight to the ones that I’m going to meet…I’m tired telling to strangers that I’m not thin so if you are not interested don’t waste your time.

Maybe they thing that I have some extra weight so they keep talking to me…and when we go out they don’t like what they see…

I want someone that he will not be embarrassed for my body…I’m tired to be the girl that they want only to have sex and nothing more… 

I’m not looking for a guy with a good body or rich etc etc I’m looking for a normal guy…just normal…someone who would like to see the inner me… but I guess I’m asking too much…

Going out and meet people it is not an easy thing to do… I guess if I will lose a lot of a weight maybe someone out there would like to be my other half… 

Any tips?

xoxo Joanna

Ps: thank you so much for your time…and I’m sorry for my bad English…

 ========

Dear Joanna,

So, you’re a pretty faced 25yo Greek girl who is 125kg. Sounds like you’re a total Greek Goddess to me! Lets look at these online dates and figure out what’s going on so you can eventually MOUNT your own OLYMPUS! 

FRIEND ZONE

The three ‘friendly’ online guys sound like they have no intention of dating you. Sorry Greek Goddess, you’ve been  FRIEND ZONED by these fickle fellas. If you’re not quite sure then suggest a date with each of them. If they don’t commit to a first meeting they’re not interested so immediately cut contact. You are  NOT any man’s back-up-plan or pen-pal.

BOOTY CALLS

Unless you’re looking for kinky casual encounters then avoid the online guys who just want sex. Sure, have a ROMP IN THE RUINS  if that’s your goal but it sounds like you’re not really after that kind of action.  BOOTY BLOCK these blokes and move on.  If you’re after a ‘long-term relationship’ then list that on your profile! These three words are like KRYPTONITE to sex seeking players and they’ll scamper away in a hot second.

As far as online dating goes, I really think a full body photo shot saves a lot of time and heartache for both parties. Greek Goddess, I know you can take a beautiful photo! I was more than 125kg when this pic was taken so if a man sees this and isn’t interested in my big girl build then I’m not for him nor is he for me. Attraction is innate and involuntary; there are millions of men who love the luscious look of a plus size women. Here’s a few more suggestions on your future lover quest:

DATING SITES

If the usual suspects aren’t working for you then go niche! Have a look around the  BBW (big beautiful women) sites. The same principles apply for your online profile and vetting potential plus size loving partners.

INTRODUCTION/ MATCHMAKER

Ask close friends and family members if they know any guys who would be a good match for you. You don’t want a pity introduction rather someone your friends honestly think you’ll hit it off with. If  your mates have someone in mind then pass on a photo of yourself and organise a date OR arrange a group meeting in a relaxed environment.

LAST TWO THINGS

It took me more than two decades to realize this and really ‘get it.’ Take a moment to think about some of your plus size role models. It could be Adele, Oprah, Dawn French, Queen Latifah or Nigella Lawson.  Whomever! The thing these women have in common is confidence. Think about them again for a second… they all exude confidence and happiness and are beautiful sexy plus size women. That’s you!!!! People see US that way.

Confidence is all about mindset. I’m no psychologist but in my personal experience I made a decision to consciously alter my mindset to a positive one. Whenever negative thoughts popped into my mind I stopped myself.  I began to act like I was a sexy confident person. When you treat yourself as someone worthwhile others will treat you that way too. Greek Goddess I believe in your APHRODITE abilities! Give this a try and send us a pic of you and your man EROS on MOUNT OLYMPUS.

Have a CURVE BALL of your won need answered? Send them to contact@bigcurvylove.com or HERE

For more blogs like this  visit www.bigcurvylove.com or join me on facebook  https://www.facebook.com/BigCurvyLove

~Kelly