Healthy Girl - Sunday Night Blues

I am not one to avoid feelings; in fact, as a counselor, I encourage others to embrace where they are emotionally, and of course, try to lead by example.  However, the “Sunday night blues” are not something I eagerly embrace. After speaking with various people, it appears this gloomy feeling that creeps up at around sun down each week is quite common; even Wikipedia acknowledges its existence. Why is it that if we know it is coming, can we not avoid it?

According to Wikipedia, “Sunday night blues is an acute condition, mostly affecting nine-to-five workers and students. This condition is characterized by anxiety about the week ahead and a sense of helplessness and depression. It most often occurs on Sunday afternoons and evenings. It is also referred to as "school bus blues" or "Sunday night depression" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunday_night_blues).

So I shared this information with a girlfriend, and while not likely that it will ever be included as a diagnosis under the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), it is a real thing for us. Knowing others experience the same or similar downward slope of emotions once a week helps us not to feel like there is something wrong or unusual.  I would make sense that anyone might feel a bit anxious or even unhappy about starting yet another work week, yet we both love what we do for a living.  If it is not the fear of having to return to something we would rather not be doing, as that scenario does not apply, then my search for an understanding of this phenomenon continues. 

Even after realizing others can relate, and finding some degree of comfort in that human commonality, my desire to understand the cause for the Sunday rollercoaster ride is still unfulfilled.  So, I continue to unpack the real reasons behind it.  I suspect it is not only the impending work week but an absence of activity and social stimulation that drives this feeling of loneliness and borderline despair.  Have you ever noticed how quiet the streets are on Sundays?  Generally, Sunday is the one day of the week that is not overly structured and abundantly full of activities or responsibilities.  Some might agree, it is healthy to take a break from the over-scheduled, over-stimulated routine of our everyday lives, but to go from 100 miles per hour six days a week to 10 miles per hour, so to speak, leaves me grasping for things to do.  This is all while trying to make my racing mind embrace the idea that Sundays, whether for religious reasons or not, are ideally the day of rest.  My body gets it; my mind does not. 

I can joyfully report that since I began my “quest” for understanding, the lows of Sunday evenings have dissipated.  I can not tell you exactly what changed, or if I was responsible for the positive upswing, but I do believe at some point, I told myself to embrace what I was feeling in that moment.  Perhaps it was the wise words of Thich Nhat Hanh in his book, Peace is Every Step, or my Bikram yoga instructor, or my mother’s resounding encouragement that finally sunk in on some subconscious level that allowed me to shift the way I thought about Sunday evenings. This recent improvement is a long time coming, as I can recall feeling this way since I was young. If I were a psychoanalytic theorist, my childhood would have so much to say about me now, but I would like to leave that alone. I will say, the aforementioned speakers of wisdom (that’s right Mom, you’re included) believe peace can be gained through acceptance of where you are; not fighting it but acknowledging what you are feeling – whether it be sadness or anxiety – because through this acceptance, comes a relinquishing of fear and of the power we give these thoughts.  A cognitive behavioral therapist might conclude one’s thoughts, especially negative, can lead to uncomfortable emotions which then cyclically affect one’s thoughts.

Break the cycle, people! Embrace whatever it is you are feeling (and yes, I am speaking this mantra aloud as well) and enjoy what Sunday has to offer.  There is peace to be had.

 Until next time, may you shine from the inside out.