Hey! I'm Dying Over Here! Maybe

I’m not having a good day today. I’m never sure anymore whether it’s going to go more wrong or after a while I’ll feel all right again. That’s what comes from having a heart attack and living through it when you shouldn’t have. You have days like this when what used to be a feeling of being a little under the weather becomes is this it? Is my time up?

I have no one to blame but me. While I didn’t lead a drug crazed life and I never smoked or drank for almost every moment of my sixty years, I didn’t always take care of myself. Occasionally I did. I would get in good shape by exercising and eating right and I would feel great but then I would eat something that was beautifully balanced in my two favorite things sugar and fat. And if you could put a lot of salt in the mix you gotta a trifecta for me that I would come back to again and again and again. I’d eat my trifecta and wouldn’t go over and work out and maybe get in a pick-up basketball game at the YMCA where we had a full family membership. It’s a slippery slope and you slide back in and justify your behavior by so many excuses. 

• My job is just too demanding RIGHT NOW. I’ll get back into the gym real soon. 
• I just did have a really good hard walk so a bowl of ice cream with chocolate syrup and maybe a little whipped cream would cool me down before I go to bed. 
• Our Kids!!! They may snack on this delicious cholocate cake I just made and that wouldn’t be good for them. 
• It’s my birthday all this week month!! 
• It’s somebody’s birthday!! 
• I just can’t enjoy a movie without some a hot dog, buttered popcorn and a big ice cold Coke.  
• Diet coke has a weird aftertaste. 
• Jeez it’s hot out!! OOO a 7/11. A Big Gulp is a Great BUY!!! 
• I can’t find any foods that are “GOOD” for me at the Ralphs. 
• Look where the Diet Dr. Pepper is? On the very top rack!!!! And it’s always out!! 
• I don’t drink coffee. I drink Coca Cola Classic to get my necessary caffeine requirement. 
• I'll put these cookies up in this one cupboard so the kids can’t reach them.  
• Jeez! It’s dinnertime again? I don’t have thing to fix in the house. 
• How about the Colonel? I love the smell when I pull into the parking lot. Oh wait I have to go over there. They don’t deliver. 
• Dominoes does. TWO LARGE PIZZAS FOR THE PRICE OF A MEDIUM! Saving money while getting real nutrition from the tomato sauce and I think some protein with cheese right? Saving MONEY and TIME!!

Something you can’t get back. Time.

I’m sure you can think of some great excuses yourself. Maybe not you yourself making bad decisions but looking at someone else’s life and seeing those people living out their lives just as cavalierly as me. It’s sad but they bring on themselves. All too true.  

So don’t feel sorry for me. I do enough of that myself. I was stupid because it’s much easier to be stupid than smart. Being stupid has caught up with me. Time is the one thing you don’t get to take back but at the same time you learn to really appreciate it. The next moment. And the next. And the next. And the next… Hey I'm feeling better!!

Maybe.