Fifty Shades of Red

Hello, Christian, So Very Nice To Meet You...

I wanted to hate it.

Fifty Shades of Grey, that is.

Yes, with all my heart I desperately wanted to hate this overrated, overhyped, oversexed book.

And I did -- because I didn't.

I got sucked in like all the rest of the world. Sucked, soaked and spun. And for the life of me I can't understand why.

The writing is not good, the story is not believable, the sex (and there is a lot of it) isn't even a turn on.

And yet... I couldn't put it down.

I was like some pathetic school girl reading her first Twilight book. Staying up well past my usual bedtime to read just one more chapter. Imagining what Christian Grey looked like and wishing I could run into him at Trader Joe's. Envying little miss virgin Anastasia and her entre into the world of love making.

That's right, I found myself thinking about this damn book even when I wasn't reading it! That's so sad!

And the minute I finished the last page I went straight to Amazon and ordered the second installment of this ridiculous trilogy on my Kindle!


I'm so disappointed in myself. I mean, the book is not good, folks. And, yet... it's so good.

It seeps in like a virus and before you know it you're hiding it from your ten year old daughter for fear she might get a glimpse of a page where Anastasia is having her seventy-eighth orgasm.

Oh, lord, it is so embarrassing. I was fully prepared to tell you all in great detail how awful it was for me to have to read this piece of crap.

But, it wasn't. It was an escape. It was basic writing with overused words and bad dialogue and I ate it up and begged for more... hm, much like Ana.

I don't know... maybe I'm getting old. Tired. The need to be challenged intellectually not so desirable as it once was.

I've worked so hard my whole life. I've searched for answers, healing, spirituality, recovery, forgiveness, wisdom, peace, courage...

Quite frankly, it's exhausting.

So, what the hell. Maybe bubble-gum, cheap food and a dirty little love story is exactly what this gal requires for today.

I can always go back to understanding the world tomorrow.

Denise W July 23, 2012 at 02:32 PM
I love you for your honesty Susan! I disliked the book, the writing, the premise, the story. I skipped passages. Couldn't wait for it to end so I could throw it away. Having wasted my money on it I was determined to read the last cotton candy page. Blaghh! Much like an eating binge I felt sick afterwards! The only thing that made me feel worse was thinking why didn't I write that? ??? xo
Miki Henderson July 23, 2012 at 04:02 PM
Love the column, hated the book, but i wanted to know what you thought.
Susan McMartin July 23, 2012 at 05:36 PM
thanks, denise! so far i don't know anyone who has liked this book nor anyone who could put it down!
Susan McMartin July 23, 2012 at 05:37 PM
thanks, miki!
Carol McGovney July 23, 2012 at 11:26 PM
I finished the 1st book a week ago...yesterday it was too hot to go out so I ordered the 2nd book yesterday afternoon finished it in a few hrs...I think the writing is bad, storyline weak, but I like you Susan feel like it's like a fattening dessert and I couldn't put it down....I'm about to order #3, Hah! so much for self control...
Susan McMartin July 24, 2012 at 12:11 AM
thanks, carol! yes, self control indeed. i'm right there with ya!
Marcia Rodd July 24, 2012 at 05:38 AM
You've almost convinced me to read it, but your response to it might be more entertaining than the book! Cheers, Marcia
Susan McMartin July 24, 2012 at 02:25 PM
lol! thanks, marcia!
Kelly Cole July 24, 2012 at 08:54 PM
Well, I can't bear the idea of cracking this open, but its popularity made brush the dust off my Anais Nin books. So that's something.
Marie Fairman July 25, 2012 at 01:20 AM
I love your blog.
Susan McMartin July 25, 2012 at 01:54 PM
kelly, i didn't want to crack this one open either!
Susan McMartin July 25, 2012 at 01:55 PM
marie, thank you!! ;-)
John Emerson July 26, 2012 at 07:28 PM
The movie is in the works! - Octomom's movie just opened! - That's entertainment!
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