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Are You a Financial Scrooge?

Do you abhor spending money on a first date, insisting on a coffee only rendezvous? Are you loathe to treat your sweetheart to dinner and a movie until you’ve consummated the deal?

What is it about men these days that keeps them from wining and dining a woman and treating her like a queen? They crave to be regarded like a king, yet won’t reciprocate. 

Whatever happened to chivalry and class? Where have all the real men gone? It’s certainly not about how much income you have. A rich man does not denote a giving spirit.

The most generous guy I ever dated had the smallest bank account. However, he took me to fine restaurants, on romantic trips, always honoring me on birthdays and holidays, and aspired to delight me at any cost.

The wealthiest guy I ever dated was the stingiest scrooge of all. “You buy too much toilet paper,” he protested. “Use coupons, shop at certain stores so I can report items purchased as write offs/business expenses,” he insisted. Funds were inevitably low when I had a desire, but as soon as it came to his fancy, price was never an issue.

There seems to be a correlation between monetary munificence and emotional or sexual openness. In the above examples, the poorer gent’s aim was to please me at every opportunity, e.g. sexually, psychologically, intellectually. Conversely, the affluent chap was unable to emote and certainly could care less about my physical gratification.

Many single men are intimated by strong, independent, self sufficient women. Simultaneously, they’re allured by those traits because they don’t want to be obligated or responsible for anyone’s welfare but their own. Do I detect a bit of narcissism here?

This category of males will look the other way if they detect dependency, although in the recent past, that was the central basis for lasting unions. In fact, gentlemen who were the sole bread winners exuded and exemplified importance, value, potency, courage, vitality.

So what is the point of a passionate tie? Why bother? Why not continue to merely have superficial links ad infinitum?

Furthermore, why the hoopla espoused about acquiring financial security before feeling attractive to the opposite sex? Does it really matter if you’re not willing to share your earnings in the long run?

For those millionaires without heirs, what on earth are you going to do with your plethora of pecuniary property? Whom and what are you accumulating for? 

You profess there are plenty of things to do that don’t require opening your checkbook, e.g. home cooked meals, cuddling by the fireplace, walks on the beach. Those are swell and dandy after bonding. When newly acquainted, perhaps comfort is readily achieved meeting on public turf, until both parties are relaxed and at ease.

Most men don’t want to take the time. They prefer to rush into the sack right away and aren’t keen on gradual involvement or sincere steadfastness. A sophisticated lady who recognizes she deserves respect and lives and breathes it, won’t be charmed by this shallow conduct.

“What do women want?” men may genuinely ponder. They yearn for what we all covet, i.e. a beau to have their back, to provide them a sense of safety; to intuitively grasp that they’re protected; to know a dearest is rooting for them through thick and thin.

There are men who utilize their financial savvy to buy a woman. They’re extremely shut down emotionally having no other recourse but to put money where their mouth is.

They control with currency and coin, frustrated when they “can’t buy me love.” They believe they can rule the world through the power of money. Yet, without the green paper to propel them, they’re isolated and alone with no clue as to how to connect.

Money may be used to hide inadequacy and avoid intimacy. It can act as a wall, preventing a deeper significant attachment.

Some are loaded and act like paupers. Some are broke and act like zillionaires. This rouse can cause complications, impeding a heartfelt, honest closeness.  

The affluent often walk around brooding with a bad attitude, annoyed they can’t dominate the universe, albeit their substantial dough rolling in. They don’t understand why women aren’t at their beck and call. Like Mr. Scrooge, they’re miserable with their millions. They haven’t the foggiest notion that there’s more to relating than via material assets.

This group can’t fathom the reasons their surroundings don’t respond according to the best laid plans, considering the wads of cash they command. A bounty of bucks won’t keep them warm and cozy at night; soothe them when they’re scared, sad, and forlorn; or celebrate with them when they’re excited, joyful, and exhilarated.

It’s no mystery that this type of personality rarely finds true love. They haven’t a handle on what authenticity entails. They haven’t figured out how to be real. They’re profoundly unfulfilled and don’t comprehend that an overflowing savings account can’t cure the emptiness from lack of meaningful affection. Money has become both their idol and their downfall.

Where are you in this conundrum? Do you hoard your treasures and brood over your fortune, or do you divvy up your funds?

If you want to change, consider contrary action. If you’re typically opposed to indulging a prospect in gifts and generally detest paying for a gal you’re not sure of, do it anyway. Act as if you’re benevolent and you just might end up with optimum results.

If you constantly try to buy a woman’s love, contemplate spending moments revealing your heart and soul, rather than showering her with worldly objects.

There are numerous scenarios where women leave their paramours, the minute they aren’t bringing in enough bacon for them to live the lifestyle they’ve grown accustomed to. Whatever happened to “til death do us part, through richer or poorer, through sickness or health?

It’s an ominous state of affairs when money rules romance. Let’s welcome in 2013 with a novel pair of eyes and acknowledge the eternal abundant beauty within each of us, rather than focusing on the outer resources we may momentarily possess.    

Three upcoming events to finish 2012 with a bang!

1 – Returning due to popular demand is another free Plenty of Fish holiday mixer on Thursday, Dec 27, 7-11pm, in the Upstairs Ultra Lounge at the historic Culver Hotel, 9400 Culver Boulevard, Culver City, CA…where the Munchkins of Oz and many other MGM celebrities stayed & played.

Live music in the lounge. Look for the “Kissing Fish Balloon.” All Ages Welcome. Expected range 35-55, give or take. Valet, City parking structure on Cardiff and street parking is available.

2 – Welcome in the New Year starting at 5pm on Monday December 31 at the Oyster House in Studio City. Greet 2013 with cherished friends, complete strangers, clever toasts, ample snacks, and an eclectic musical playlist on the Patio. No Cover. Party favors for those who arrive early. 

Inside at the comfy, congenial restaurant, there’ll be a special three-course feast served until 11pm. (Regular menu selections available upon request)

Appetizers: house chopped salad, jalapeno corn chowder, or Roberto’s shrimp cocktail ($10 extra);

Entrée: succulent South American 8 oz Lobster Tail ($31.95), 12oz Culotte “Top of the Top” steak ($31.95), or Crab Stuffed Shrimp ($29.95). Served with either: mashed potatoes, rice, or pasta and steamed broccoli;

Dessert ala Mode: Chocolate Brownie or Roberto’s Famous Bread Pudding & Sweet Whiskey Sauce.

3 - LA  Singles Society and No Waiting Dating are having a New Year’s Eve Party in Fitzgerald’s Lounge at the Woodland Hills Hilton Hotel, 6360 Canoga Ave., 91367.

There’ll be a buffet from 8:30-10:30p consisting of pita chips with red pepper hummus, a winter lentil salad, bow tie pasta with pesto sauce, and penne pasta with white sauce.

The five-piece Sidetracks band will be playing great tunes for your dancing enchantment, featuring the best sounds of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.

The Fitzgerald’s Lounge has a capacity of 140 and they’re expected to sell out beforehand.

Admission is $25 paid in advance until 12 noon on December 27 at: http://lasinglessociety.com/admin/articles/preview.php?article=1086; by sending a check to Harkitt Corp (parent company of LA Singles Society) addressed to 4145 Nogales Dr, Tarzana, CA 91356; or by calling Fred Gansky, at 818-342-3311 with your credit card information.

After 12 noon on December 27, you can prepay by contacting Adam Elias of No Waiting Dating at 661-993-2700 until 12 Noon on December 31. At the door, it’s $30 per person.

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