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Expectations in Relationships

Now that Valentine’s Day has passed, what is the next holiday you’ll be expecting tokens of affection, appreciation and admiration? Will you be disappointed if special acknowledgement isn’t received?

Are you leery of expectations lest your hopes and dreams aren’t fulfilled?Are you convinced you can avoid rejection by pretending you don’t yearn to be honored and revered, physically, emotionally, verbally, and materially?

Do you wait for your mate to say “I Love You,” so you aren’t left with mud on your face when the sentiment isn't reciprocated?

Are you the one who always has to remind him/her about your anniversary? Do you drop hints about what you want for your birthday? 

What events do you celebrate with your sweetheart? Are six month marks appropriate or is it better to wait until a year, two years or even ten?

Who decides what occasions you commemorate? Who determines how you'll salute exceptional moments? In fact, do you both agree on what requires recognition? What’s a landmark to you may be a passing fancy to your partner.

Does it behoove you to let your paramour know what you prefer? Are you inclined to shop for your favorite gift ahead of time and then let him/her know where to buy it? 

Are you more interested in useful items or is it the thought that counts, even if you end up returning the presents?

Do you compare yourself to couples in your circle, worrying that your observance isn’t as cool and classy as theirs? Do you notice how other duos rejoice and seek to follow their example?

Do you argue over which milestones are significant and which you can bypass? Are you overwhelmed by anticipation? Does your angst interfere with a peaceful and amorous connection?

Are you anxious you won’t purchase the perfect garment, your dinner won’t be scrumptious, or your evening pleasurable? Do you fret over logistics, and wonder whether this will be the ideal instance to finally seal your bond once and for all?

Do you feel pressure to generate a gesture superior to the previous? Do you crave to make a random day as unique as you would Christmas or your anniversary?

Would you rather not make a big deal over accomplishments and achievements? Do you yearn to keep things simple i.e. staying home and snuggling by the fireplace?

How can you take a reality check on your expectations and bring them to a practical level without being devastated or engulfed in disenchantment?

How can you demystify your desires so they don’t consume you and engulf your relationship in a dark field of dissatisfaction?

Whatever happened to your best laid plans? Aren’t they the ones that are the first to go by the wayside?

Follow your heart instead of Hallmark, the calendar, or traditions of friends and family. Establish private practices and rituals without judging them against society or your inner loop of cohorts.

Evaluate what works for you and your dearest by remaining candid and forthcoming about your aspirations. Don’t mask your hankerings in an attempt to prevent disillusionment.

Trust your intended. Stay confident in the strength of your union. Your link will last if it’s meant to be no matter what you do or don’t do, or say or don’t say.

Valentine’s Day continues with a Plenty of Fish Party Part 2, on Sunday, February 24 from 7p-12M, at the Elegante Banquet Hall, 10519 Victory Blvd., North Hollywood CA 91606. Cupid is on call extra hours to help you find a new friend, date, or happily ever after.

Dance the night away or be swept off your feet to a hot DJ spinning: Top 40's, R & B, 70-80's, Reggae, Salsa, Latin and more, plus slow romantic music to cuddle with your chosen Valentine.

Appetizers from 7-8 pm for early birds. Raffle prizes and surprises galore. $8 admission at the door. Please bring exact change. Cash bar. Free street parking or discounted valet parking $6.

For an enjoyable evening of entertainment, don’t miss the world premiere of “The Snake Can,” at the Odyssey Theatre, 2055 South Sepulveda Blvd., West LA, 90025.

This incredibly fun, funny, poignant, and provocative piece, takes you on a romantic romp through the love lives of three middle aged women and the men who move them.

Remarkably written by long term Studio City resident, Kathryn Graf (see featured photo), “The Snake Can,” covers a potpourri of topics every single person can relate to, e.g. internet dating, divorce, separation, sexuality, fidelity, friendship, commitment phobia.

Kathryn conveyed how “The Snake Can” was motivated by a need to chronicle certain personal encounters. She describes the script as “very autobiographical” and “often uncomfortably so.”

After spending time with a prospect, Kathryn couldn’t believe the conversation they were having. She’d come home and write it down, practically word for word. Graf reveals that one of the lines in the play, "You do find the drama," sums up her life.  

Kathryn admits that the idea for each of the three women in the show originated from her own experiences. “One is a widow with two children living in the burbs (me); One is a woman who's been single and dating for ten years (me); One is a woman who left her loving, celebrity husband because she felt diminished by his fame (sort of me)."

Graf divulged that the scene displaying videos from the fictitious dating site, Matchmaker.luv is her favorite. “I laugh like crazy at James Lancaster in that. He's such a wonderful actor.”    

Citing rave reviews and due to popular demand, “The Snake Can” has been extended until March 2. Smartly directed by Steven Robman, the stellar cast includes Diane Cary, Gregory Harrison, Jane Kaczmarek, James Lancaster, Joel Polis, and Sharon Sharth.

Performances are Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at 8pm; Sunday at 2pm and 7pm. Tickets are available at www.OdysseyTheatre.com or 310-477-2055.

Dive Turn Work February 18, 2013 at 04:18 AM
"Now that Valentine’s Day has passed, what is the next holiday you’ll be expecting tokens of affection, appreciation and admiration? Will you be disappointed if special acknowledgement isn’t received?" Well, if you're a woman and have children, I'm guessing it will be in May on Mother's Day.
E.M. Fredric February 19, 2013 at 01:48 AM
I had a beautiful hike which I think would fall under a new tradition or something different. Father's Day is around Mother's Day and with those jobs being extremely difficult - I won't presume you have them - just know if you do you deserve a break for a day, a minute, an hour....ahhh... yes.

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