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Expectations in Relationships

Now that Valentine’s Day has passed, what is the next holiday you’ll be expecting tokens of affection, appreciation and admiration? Will you be disappointed if special acknowledgement isn’t received?

Are you leery of expectations lest your hopes and dreams aren’t fulfilled?Are you convinced you can avoid rejection by pretending you don’t yearn to be honored and revered, physically, emotionally, verbally, and materially?

Do you wait for your mate to say “I Love You,” so you aren’t left with mud on your face when the sentiment isn't reciprocated?

Are you the one who always has to remind him/her about your anniversary? Do you drop hints about what you want for your birthday? 

What events do you celebrate with your sweetheart? Are six month marks appropriate or is it better to wait until a year, two years or even ten?

Who decides what occasions you commemorate? Who determines how you'll salute exceptional moments? In fact, do you both agree on what requires recognition? What’s a landmark to you may be a passing fancy to your partner.

Does it behoove you to let your paramour know what you prefer? Are you inclined to shop for your favorite gift ahead of time and then let him/her know where to buy it? 

Are you more interested in useful items or is it the thought that counts, even if you end up returning the presents?

Do you compare yourself to couples in your circle, worrying that your observance isn’t as cool and classy as theirs? Do you notice how other duos rejoice and seek to follow their example?

Do you argue over which milestones are significant and which you can bypass? Are you overwhelmed by anticipation? Does your angst interfere with a peaceful and amorous connection?

Are you anxious you won’t purchase the perfect garment, your dinner won’t be scrumptious, or your evening pleasurable? Do you fret over logistics, and wonder whether this will be the ideal instance to finally seal your bond once and for all?

Do you feel pressure to generate a gesture superior to the previous? Do you crave to make a random day as unique as you would Christmas or your anniversary?

Would you rather not make a big deal over accomplishments and achievements? Do you yearn to keep things simple i.e. staying home and snuggling by the fireplace?

How can you take a reality check on your expectations and bring them to a practical level without being devastated or engulfed in disenchantment?

How can you demystify your desires so they don’t consume you and engulf your relationship in a dark field of dissatisfaction?

Whatever happened to your best laid plans? Aren’t they the ones that are the first to go by the wayside?

Follow your heart instead of Hallmark, the calendar, or traditions of friends and family. Establish private practices and rituals without judging them against society or your inner loop of cohorts.

Evaluate what works for you and your dearest by remaining candid and forthcoming about your aspirations. Don’t mask your hankerings in an attempt to prevent disillusionment.

Trust your intended. Stay confident in the strength of your union. Your link will last if it’s meant to be no matter what you do or don’t do, or say or don’t say.

Valentine’s Day continues with a Plenty of Fish Party Part 2, on Sunday, February 24 from 7p-12M, at the Elegante Banquet Hall, 10519 Victory Blvd., North Hollywood CA 91606. Cupid is on call extra hours to help you find a new friend, date, or happily ever after.

Dance the night away or be swept off your feet to a hot DJ spinning: Top 40's, R & B, 70-80's, Reggae, Salsa, Latin and more, plus slow romantic music to cuddle with your chosen Valentine.

Appetizers from 7-8 pm for early birds. Raffle prizes and surprises galore. $8 admission at the door. Please bring exact change. Cash bar. Free street parking or discounted valet parking $6.

For an enjoyable evening of entertainment, don’t miss the world premiere of “The Snake Can,” at the Odyssey Theatre, 2055 South Sepulveda Blvd., West LA, 90025.

This incredibly fun, funny, poignant, and provocative piece, takes you on a romantic romp through the love lives of three middle aged women and the men who move them.

Remarkably written by long term Studio City resident, Kathryn Graf (see featured photo), “The Snake Can,” covers a potpourri of topics every single person can relate to, e.g. internet dating, divorce, separation, sexuality, fidelity, friendship, commitment phobia.

Kathryn conveyed how “The Snake Can” was motivated by a need to chronicle certain personal encounters. She describes the script as “very autobiographical” and “often uncomfortably so.”

After spending time with a prospect, Kathryn couldn’t believe the conversation they were having. She’d come home and write it down, practically word for word. Graf reveals that one of the lines in the play, "You do find the drama," sums up her life.  

Kathryn admits that the idea for each of the three women in the show originated from her own experiences. “One is a widow with two children living in the burbs (me); One is a woman who's been single and dating for ten years (me); One is a woman who left her loving, celebrity husband because she felt diminished by his fame (sort of me)."

Graf divulged that the scene displaying videos from the fictitious dating site, Matchmaker.luv is her favorite. “I laugh like crazy at James Lancaster in that. He's such a wonderful actor.”    

Citing rave reviews and due to popular demand, “The Snake Can” has been extended until March 2. Smartly directed by Steven Robman, the stellar cast includes Diane Cary, Gregory Harrison, Jane Kaczmarek, James Lancaster, Joel Polis, and Sharon Sharth.

Performances are Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at 8pm; Sunday at 2pm and 7pm. Tickets are available at www.OdysseyTheatre.com or 310-477-2055.

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Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
Barbara Krause May 21, 2013 at 07:58 pm
Oh, it was under announcements and not opinion so that is why I did not understand the post whichRead More appeared as facts.
John Walker May 21, 2013 at 05:14 pm
Presumptuous? What about my "endorsement" is presumptuous. You don't really need toRead More respond😃, I just didn't understand the comment.
Barbara Krause May 21, 2013 at 09:06 am
Somewhat presumptuous this early on Voting Day.
David Pearlberg December 21, 2012 at 11:00 pm
I attended N.H.H.S. in the mid-seventies. Mr. Reeves and Mr. Moelter were two of my favorites.Read More Loved Mr. McLeroy for Sociology.
Kim Phillips-Clark December 19, 2012 at 07:25 pm
great article Mary! Ms. Korney, she sometimes scared me to death! But always around christmas IRead More think of her and pronounce my letters clearly at the end of a word when I sing. I can still remember the song I had to sing for my final, "If ever I would leave you..." She taught me a lot. I agree with everything you said about Mr. Reeves. I had Mr. Pesin for Algebra, he did nothing to help further my math skills. The biggest flirt around, ick. We had a girl in school at the time that flirted her way to an A and hardly ever went to class. Go figure!! I also thought quite highly of Ms. Requiam. Glad she's still around.
Mary McGrath December 18, 2012 at 07:59 pm
Oh, that's so funny Suzanne....what a great story!
Miki Henderson April 27, 2013 at 02:27 pm
Is there a video of this minecraft from mr donovan
Rich Addams March 30, 2013 at 02:49 pm
Luv the bunnyleggos
Cheyenne Chasen March 25, 2013 at 01:00 pm
Love seeing the new entries each and every week! Keep it up!
Alex Daniels May 22, 2013 at 12:18 am
glad you lost Wendy...not even your mafia DWP bedfellows could push you through..now go away...
Alex Daniels May 21, 2013 at 09:05 pm
I also notice Wendy Gruel has no platform, except taking money from special interest (most notablyRead More her puppet masters at the DWP) and having one of the most negative campaigns I've ever seen......no thanks, negative Wendy, fool me once.....Eric is our next Mayor....
Jo Perry May 20, 2013 at 08:27 pm
The signs are everywhere! Please vote for Wendy, Nora. He is also running ads about Wendy GreuelRead More that he knows are outright lies.
Mike Szymanski (Editor) May 19, 2013 at 02:21 pm
She has received a lot of flak about making a premature decision...I hope someone from OvarianRead More Cancer or the community weighs in on this and gives their thoughts in a blog! Thanks...just click the START BLOGGING button below! THANKS!
Mike Szymanski (Editor) May 17, 2013 at 09:34 am
It's better if you put this in the START A BLOG area and add photos...it stays there longer!