I have been a single mom for almost 10 years. That's a long time to not have to compromise, share space or discuss where the television should go with a man.
I hang paintings where I want, buy groceries that I like, go to bed when I'm tired... it's kinda wonderful. The only person I've truly had to work with on a daily basis is my daughter and, well, we have a pretty great thing going.
But, I am a woman. I am a grown-up woman. Oh, let's face it, I love men and would like to have a healthy relationship with one in this lifetime.
So, it has come to my attention that if I want to be serious about a relationship I'm going to have to learn to... eek... be a partner.
UGH! Help! I thought I was done reading Men Are From Mars books when I got divorced!
A partner. Patient, open minded, flexible...
I can already see it -- the late night talks about what might have been misunderstood earlier in the day that caused the silent treatment for a solid hour. The afternoon Costco trips that lead to the "do you really need this? Do you really use that?" discussions. The sharing of the remote, the using up all the hot water, the needing to close the door now when going to the bathroom.
Oh, dear. It's all a bit heartbreaking.
I like being independent. I like being a single mom. I like watching Dateline reruns while eating cheddar cheese goldfish for dinner. Is that so wrong?
No. But, I also know being in love, having a best friend, showing my daughter what a healthy, kind, grown-up relationship looks like is a good thing. A wonderful thing.
So, it is time for this single mom to learn, again, to be a partner. To be open to the idea of being a partner. To let go just a little bit and open the door a smidgen wider.
Make a little room on the couch... and in my heart.
I can do that.