I Was a Bride Tomorrow

Remembering my wedding date 14 years later.

Tomorrow, if my ex and I had stayed married, would have been our 14 year wedding anniversary (and 18 years of being together).

Instead, it's just another day and we are rounding our way towards 9 years of divorce.

I don't know why I bring this up. I mean, it's not like I pay attention to these dates or romance the past in any way. It just sort've caught my eye.

"Oh, September 27th... hey, that was my wedding day."

You know, like that.

Dates are funny. We honor birthdays, holidays, anniversarys, deaths, sobriety and just about anything else that seems to have significance of some sort.

And we count.

"Wow, 2 years since Michael Jackson died" or "I can't believe we've been living in this house for 15 years today" or "she hasn't had a drink in 5 years" or... "we would have been married 14 years tomorrow if we hadn't gotten divorced."

Dates and numbers. Marks of time passing. Celebrations of days accumilated. Numbers and dates.

My wedding day was pretty darn cool. A swank, jazzy New York City wedding in a penthouse loft in midtown Manhattan. We wrote our own ceremony from start to finish, my bridesmaids read a poem I had written for my soon-to-be husband and I had red roses in my hair.

Our first dance was to Always and my husband got roasted instead of toasted by his best man.

My father cried, my mother glowed and I remember looking in the mirror just before it all started thinking, "Holy balls, I'm the bride?"

We honeymooned in Jamaica, swam in blue waters, drank fruity cocktails and looked forward to the rest of our life together as husband and wife.

And that, my friends, is something I have not thought about in years. Years.

So, maybe dates aren't so bad. Maybe they are there to simply give us a moment to pause. To stop. To take in.

To allow, even for a brief moment, a little reflection on a slice of life where something important happened.

Something important happened that day. After all, if that day never took place I would not have the greatest gift of my life... my daughter.

So, happy anniversary to my ex. That was a good day. A significant day. And one that I will forever be grateful for.

We may not swim in blue waters together anymore, but we certainly share the joy of swimming in the big blue eyes of our little girl.

And that feels really good to remember.

maria muse September 27, 2011 at 05:57 PM
I'm going to have to stop reading your articles. I always choke up a little. Its not the tears streaming down your face cry, its that inward cry. That gasp of life. The knowing. The letting go. Its the gasp in between all of that, the spaces in between. Now I sit here and remember...


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