This category is often resentful and hostile towards members of the opposite sex. They tend to hibernate and refuse invitations, albeit graciously extended. Cajoling them to attend an event is like pulling teeth.
Many settle for an unfulfilling union. They may compromise standards and morals rather than risk the dreaded loneliness. Numerous couples are unsatisfied and remain in unrewarding relationships, wishing and hoping to locate the one who makes their heart skip a beat. Quite a lot of duos hang together and yet secretly don’t even like each other.
Do you believe your model mate exists? Is there such a thing as perfect harmony and peace with another human being? If not, how do you reconcile the millions who spend a lifetime searching for their ‘happily ever after?’
Are men and women meant to be in pairs vis a vis Noah’s Ark or do homo sapiens operate better individually? Is bonding with a partner in perpetuity a natural or unnatural form?
Does the seeking prompt the intrigue and excitement? Would you recognize your perfect match if he/she appeared right in front of your eyes? Is your vision so colored from years of hurt and disappointment you’ve become ‘blinded to the light?’
It’s common knowledge that water seeks its own level. Similarly, you’ll attract someone at your current emotional and psychological stance. Therefore, it behooves you to do the internal work necessary to magnetize a healthy involvement.
You can begin by merging the most evolved feminine and masculine parts of yourself. Only after putting in the requisite time and passion, will you be ready to receive your authentic life liaison.
When you develop and incorporate the masculine and feminine facets of your core, you’ll lure and enthrall a nourishing, gratifying, pleasurable association. You’ll be transformed into a heedful, vigilant, alert adult, competent to conquer self destructive patterns.
Carl Jung refers to the feminine inner personality within the unconscious mind of the male as the “anima.” Conversely, the male inner personality is designated as the “animus.”
If you’re female, integration entails reviving your yang or higher masculine side e.g., making things happen, taking the initiative, professional acumen, street smarts. The degree to which you merge divergent aspects is the degree to which your ideal lover will be charmed and captivated.
If you stay stuck and split, however, the lower feminine side is displayed as fantasy, illusion, drugs, dependency, acquiescence, wanting to and thinking you can change your man.
For the gentleman, the procedure denotes awakening his yin or highest feminine side e.g. intuition, understanding, communication, sensitivity.
The lower masculine side is exhibited as separateness, brutishness, cluelessness, carelessness, thoughtlessness, and foolishness.
Becoming united and whole is a dance of contrary action. If you’re scattered, try grounding exercises to stimulate the earth mother (your yin) e.g. journaling, meditating, walking on the beach, yoga, gardening, singing.
If you’re inflexible, rigid, and fixed, try exercises to arouse the heavenly father (your yang) e.g. skiing, aerobics, karate, jogging, tennis, socializing.
Ponder how a guy can easily express his tender side in cyberspace where he doesn’t have to appear face to face. He’s comfortably romantic, poetic, sympathetic, creative. That same chap is awkward and ill at ease sharing such characteristics in the flesh, validating the preconceived notion that true men don’t cry or emote and must be stoic and strong.
This particular gentleman may deem it vital to focus on his tough exterior features in order to function effectively on the job and survive in the cut throat business world. Nevertheless, it takes a great deal more courage to convey vulnerability. Frequently, macho men resort to a limiting connection in the virtual world, facilitating feeling safe at a distance.
Why do online serial daters refuse to graduate from merely writing back and forth? They can’t muster up the chops to participate in a phone call the old fashioned Alexander Graham Bell way. If you encounter this scenario, recognize the red flag indicating an inability to commit to intimacy.
Contemplate invoking the rule that after two emails without a subsequent willingness to talk via phone or meet in person, it’s a sign of unavailability and a gauge to move on. Discovering impenetrable walls at the onset, is preferable to enduring ions struggling to break through barriers.
Robert Downey Jr. quoted his friend Mel Gibson: “If I accepted responsibility and embraced that part of my soul that was ugly – hugging the cactus he calls it – I’d become a man.”
Mel’s insight is applicable to women as well. It acknowledges the importance of traversing into the convoluted recesses of your mind and spirit to unearth underlying traumas.
‘Hugging the cactus’ mandates being brutally honest with yourself regarding how you’ve sabotaged relationships in the past. It concerns the practice of overcoming the adversary or in spiritual terms, your initiation into maturity.
This approach demands you go deep within and come to grips with the messages you got as a child that have determined your goals and values i.e. the script you’ve been playing out as a result of your trials and tribulations.
You can choose to rewrite the scenario and act out a role that’s worthy and commendable. Otherwise you’ll continue to run your agendas, which are a function of your damaged core due to entrenched, intense, multi-layered, profound pain and suffering.
If you don’t understand your subliminal ordeals, you won’t understand the detrimental behaviors behind them. You have to examine the sentiments that ensue. You can process them physically and mentally ad infinitum, but you have to also deal with them on a spiritual level.
Where is your faith? The basic goal is to cultivate and maintain credence and conviction. Common aspirations encompass a staunch trust, dedication, and enthusiasm in the capacity of love as a cure-all.
Some acquire a spiritual connection in their fondness for nature, animals, reverence for the mystery and beauty of life and the Universe. Others observe the golden rule and adhere to tolerance in all their affairs.
Affection and passion are the lubricants that make everything move and flow freely. They supply you with an endless source of unconditional acceptance and nurturing, essential to nursing, repairing, mending, and restoring your psyche and essence back to vim and vigor.
Singles Slogan for the Week: The key to success is getting up one more time after you’ve been knocked down.
Singles Soirees for Saturday June 23rd include: 1) Dinner Dance Summer Blast from 7:30-11:30p at the Stephen S. Wise Temple Zeldin Hall, 15500 Stephen S. Wise Dr, LA 90077. Everyone is welcome. Ages 50 plus. Great dance music by Donald Dean Band playing the memorable hits of the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. Mixers, Ice Breakers, Dance Hosts.
Complete dinner: baked chicken, veggies, rice, tossed salad, fresh cut fruit; beverage bar: wine, beer, soft drinks, bottled water, coffee, tea; desserts: chocolate cake, ice cream, cookies… they’ll keep it flowing until everyone’s satiated.
Over 150 expected. Attire: Dressy casual. Cost: $20/Guests $25. For more info, contact John at (310) 204-1240 or Johnseeman@aol.com. Reservations aren’t necessary. Just pay at the door.
2) Kissafish Society LA Mixer hosted by David, 8p-12M, in the Ultra Lounge at the Historic Culver Hotel, 9400 Culver Boulevard, in the Downtown Culver City Entertainment District, where the Munchkins of Oz & many other MGM Celebrities Stayed & Played. No Charge. Live Music. Look for the Kissing Fish Balloon. http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15342387.aspx
3) Speed Dating at the Hilton in Woodland Hills hosted by Adam Elias of No Waiting Dating, 818-342-4800. To reserve a spot call Vivian at 818-880-1885 between 11am-7pm. Price is $25.00. Women: Ages 50-65; Men: Ages 50-68 from 5:15-7pm; Women: Ages 32-48; Men: Ages 34-50 from 7:15-9pm (OK if within 1-2 years of age range).