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Is There a Perfect Time for 'The Talk?'

Are you ready to discuss exclusivity with your mate? When is the best moment to bring up this touchy subject? Is it apropos after dating for six weeks, nine months, two years?

When is the ideal occasion to have the conversation? Is it better in the morning, afternoon, evening? Is it more advantageous if the exchange is during a candlelit meal, prior to a romantic evening on the town, or following mad passionate sex?

How do you frame such a sensitive topic so as not to sound needy and insecure? What if your sweetheart interprets your yen as a demand or ultimatum?

Would it ease your anxiety to express your wishes in a letter or an email, rather than face to face? What words can effectively prevent a defensive reaction?    

Are you prepared for possible disappointment and rejection if he/she isn’t agreeable? What if your lover has a temper tantrum and storms off in a huff?

Is it crucial to hear your paramour convey vows of faithfulness? In the scheme of things, how important is that type of promise?

Can you accept your relationship exactly the way it is without an official title? Are you satisfied in your physical, sexual, emotional, and spiritual connection?

Do you feel admired, adored, and appreciated? Are you confident your dearest has your back, loves you unconditionally, will be loyal and reliable under any circumstance?   

What if you chose someone who wants to play the field and isn’t boyfriend/girlfriend material? What if your values are different and never the twain shall meet, e.g. you want kids and your partner doesn’t? Is it healthy to stay and hope for a change of heart?

Would it benefit you to move on and seek a honey, eager and primed to commit to you and you alone? If you wait for Mr./Ms. Maybe, will you run the risk of missing out on Mr./Ms. Right?

How can you facilitate your babe to accept responsibility and step up to the plate? Even if your guy/gal professes undying devotion, does that actually impact future behavior?

Can you guarantee your ‘happily ever after’ won’t stray? Is it viable to ensure lifelong loyalty, honesty, and steadfastness?

Whether the issue concerns a declaration of ‘coupledom,’ a bone of contention, or another personal position, similar solutions apply.

Focus on the process instead of the results. Remember the goal is learning to communicate without blaming, shaming, threatening, manipulating, or compromising your integrity.

The objective is remaining strong, sincere, direct, and straightforward, albeit you may fear abandonment or retaliation.

It’s significant to continually share your truths on a daily basis. This lessens the chance they'll surface in a detrimentally passive-aggressive manner.

If you hold onto minor affairs, they can conceivably start to fester, grow bigger, and become mountains when they were previously mere molehills. Therefore, it behooves you to get things off your chest.

Practice using “I” statements and remove “you” from the equation. It’s difficult to argue when simply articulating your feelings. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to private sentiments.

Don’t “should” on yourself or your precious. Cease judgmental and critical language. Realize that when you point your index finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.

Read a previously written letter or use a timer to limit your delivery. Request that any reply occur at a later instance. Keep it light and lively. Plan to engage in a fun activity as soon as you’ve spoken.

You’ll experience great relief having let the cat out of the bag. Your esteem will be bolstered ten-fold since you’re affirming the merit of your input.

Avoid attempts to control, fix, or find immediate answers regarding the situation. Once the matter is exposed, resolution will occur naturally in the most optimum mode feasible, for your highest good and the gain of those you care about.

It’s very likely your main squeeze already knows what’s been on your mind and is anticipating verbalization. He/she is apt to welcome your candor and frankness with gratitude and receptive arms.

You may be surprised to discover how much weight your opinions hold in this cherished union. You might further ascertain the extent to which the man/woman of your dreams covets to make you content and craves to figure out the finest ways to achieve that aim.  

Ask for what you want not because you command it, but because you deserve to contribute to your intimate alliance. Apprehend that your aspirations are of the essence. When you put your yearnings at the top of the list, others will respond accordingly.

Singles Endeavor for the Week: Divulge to at least one close, trustworthy confidante a secret you’ve been shouldering. Reference the tools indicated above.          

Please Vote on Tuesday. Your participation makes an enormous difference in the political arena.

On Wednesday, Nov. 7 from 8-10pm, enjoy some superb comedy at Mare’ka Live Restaurant, The Organic Watering Hole, 12747 1/2 Ventura Blvd., Studio City. Laughter is an excellent healer for whatever ails you, both inside and out!  

Host, Jon Pirincci, adept at over 100 voices, invites members of the audience on stage and teaches them how to do impressions, hence the title of the act, “The First Impression.”

This exciting presentation features Perry Kurtz, national headliner, Tonight Show writer, ex male stripper, and solo star of “Drinking Beer and Smoking Cigarettes” on Youtube with more than 1.4 million views; plus Tony Blackstone, Conrad Lawrence, Eileen Kallo, and John Clark.

Mare'ka’s, LA’s first all organic bar, is a warm, cozy, quaint hideaway, owned by the lovely Mare’ka. They offer scrumptious smoothies, salads, sandwiches, freshly juiced cocktails, hand-made tonics, drinking chocolates, Taoist herbal drinks, tea fusions, an Italian Espresso bar, anti-aging elixirs, beer, wine, champagne, and sake.

No cover. 1 item per person minimum. The last performance was SRO. Reservations are suggested. There are only 25 seats. Plenty of free parking. Call (818) 509-1664.  

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