Do you feel unfulfilled unless you’re half of a duo? Are you still looking for the “missing piece” to complete you?
Is your contentment based on the mistaken myth that you’ll only find true joy in a twosome? Do you watch friends in relationships and long to be part of a pair?
September is the season for transformation. Leaves are turning color; birds are beginning to migrate; the last of the roses are blooming; gardens are being harvested; the weather is changing; school is back in session.
Why not take this opportunity to reflect over the year thus far and how your conscious awareness has developed. Contemplate what “aha moments” you’ve reaped.
The phrase “aha moment” has recently been added to the pages of Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. It’s defined as “a moment of sudden realization, inspiration, insight, recognition, or comprehension.”
According to Oprah in a video segment for the dictionary, when the “hairs on your arm stand up…that is an aha moment.” She declares it’s “when I sit down to talk to somebody and they say something that makes me look at life or a situation in a completely different way. And I say “Aha!”
Viewing being single as a blessing in disguise rather than a terrible dilemma is an example of an “aha moment.” What if surviving solo isn’t a malady, the plague, or a disease to be cured after all? Is it feasible the singles stigma, fed by families, society, cohorts, and peers, is a big lie?
Consider the various benefits and positive aspects of living solo. Countless couples are miserable, but stay together for the rest of the world or because they “should.” They’re constantly in a state of high anxiety, walking on eggshells, prevented from following their heart’s desire, held prisoner in their private hell.
They may appear as a team sharing the same page, smiling and displaying a happy face for those in their circle. Yet behind closed doors, they’re often despondent, glum, distressed, in a state of turmoil, and stuck in a rut, unable to extricate themselves.
Many, in what outwardly seems to be a close bond, don’t really communicate or connect on a meaningful level. They carry on superficial conversations and may even revert to the silent treatment.
Behaviors typically manifest in verbal and emotional abuse, withholding, aloofness, passive aggressiveness. Both parties, terrified of the pain of loneliness, can’t imagine functioning as a solitary unit. They honestly believe they won’t survive devoid of a sweetheart.
It takes courage and a leap of faith to trust that you’ll be supported by the universe and your inner spirit. Ponder the principle that you have everything you need and what you covet will be provided for.
Recollect that all is well right here and right now. This will afford you the means to relish and revel in your status as an unattached man/woman.
Single folks are extremely strong, having endured endless rejection. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they were admired and appreciated for their perseverance rather than criticized and demeaned for their lack of commitment?
In fact, the optimal news is that when your time is yours, you may end up with a sense of accomplishment through helping others instead of relying on another person to make you whole.
After eons of believing you must search for the perfect partner, not seeking is plausiby a better plan. Attaining personal satisfaction and gratification are noble goals to focus on. Making a difference in the world starts within.
Being your own best friend can be exhilarating. Enjoying your own company, dabbling in hobbies, sports, the arts without judgment, relaxing without concentrating on pleasing a boyfriend/girlfriend, can be monumentally epic.
The benefits of tying the knot have become less advantageous. The contract of marriage is mostly a financial matter. It used to be important when having children, but in the 21st century, single parenting is more prevalent with lenient rules on adoption and surrogacy.
Further, there’s concrete evidence kids raised in one parent homes are as healthy and well adjusted as those from two parent households.
In any case, before you attract a compatible mate, you have to be copacetic without a "happily ever after." It’s a dichotomy that’s essential to embrace. Thinking a main squeeze is going to fix you, is a setup for codependency and dysfunction.
There are plenty of positive aspects to operating alone, e.g. unilaterally deciding what to do when your schedule is spare; not having to be responsible for someone else’s indulgences or negative moods, idiosyncracies, jealousy, possessiveness, controlling manners, insecurities.
The perceived prizes in securing a Mr./Ms. Right may be overblown. Take into account that there are instances when this can contribute to increased stress, causing alarm and concern, resulting in a damaging prognosis.
This doesn’t infer that it’s constructive to remain tucked inside your abode, hiding behind a cocoon, void of meaningful trysts. It’s viable to discover delight through practicing empathy, love, and compassion as a bff, neighbor, employee, community worker, daughter, son, brother, sister, mother, father.
On Wednesday, Sept. 15 from 8-9:30 p.m., at The Federal, 5303 Lankershim, in Noho, vibraphonist maestro, Nick Mancini, fronts a quartet of awesome musicians, performing an amazing blend of movie ballads and original pieces. The lineup includes John Daversa on trumpet, Dave Robaire on bass, and Dan Schnelle on drums.
For a cozy, romantic evening with sizzling hot, sexy, sultry singing from a surprise guest artist, you’ll be mesmerized in this soothing, listening room and laid-back ambience.
There’s no cover, allowing you to enjoy the fabulous bill of fare e.g. burgers, dogs, grilled swordfish, steak and cake et.al. This is the second series of four, as Mancini will take the stage every Wednesday in September.
On Saturday, Sept. 15 from 8pm until the crack of dawn on Sunday, don’t miss the second spectacular Tiki Luau Exotica bash, hosted by Wendell Baker. The last soiree had over 200 eligible enthralled singles mingling, dancing, and romancing. Wendell’s Polynesian Village transpires at 19523 Strathern Street (Between Tampa and Corbin) in Reseda, 91335. For more info, call 818-993-9584.
There’s an open bar featuring your favorite forbidden tiki drinks; light munchies/snacks; a secret passage guiding you into the enchanted forest where trees and lights will soften your spirit; the live band, “Hung Jury,” with members from “The Standells” and “Canned Heat;” DJ “Marc-Key-Marc” in Polynesian attire playing simultaneously; and the VooDoo Lounge for a quiet, subdued atmosphere. It’s definitely worth the reasonable cost of $20.00 cash at the door.