How do you handle the stress, chaos, grief in your life? Where do you go to get the affection you need? How do you avoid the guilt that arises when you take time to self nurture?
Do you tend to take your bucket to an empty well? Do you seek reassurance from those incapable of giving? Are the cohorts you choose often too self involved and/or narcissistic to see past their own noses?
Do you look for love in all the wrong places from all the wrong faces? When you’re enmeshed in a toxic union, can you set boundaries and maintain your distance or are you drawn even closer to them?
Where do you go to be held, hugged, embraced? Can you ascertain whether affection and admiration are mutual?
Do you have people to talk to who earnestly listen? Generally, a good ear will suffice when accompanied by compassion, empathy, and a sense you’re understood. Active listening is frequently the best method for displaying thoughtfulness, tenderness, fondness.
A good gauge is if your companion asks about you, then stops and pauses to hear your response, because they’re genuinely interested in your comfort and joy.
Are your pals judgmental, trying to transform you to fit their mold and beliefs or do they accept you exactly as you are? Do they support you in your ambitions and challenges, rooting you on, cheering your victories, acknowledging your strengths, appreciating your weaknesses?
Learning to cultivate encouraging, caring comrades is the first step in preparation for an intense, romantic involvement. You’re more apt to form a healthy liaison when you hold yourself in high regard. Cherishing close cohorts is an advantageous path.
In a revered bond, you feel safe to say no, whine, cry, laugh, or be silly, angry, sleepy, silent, and flawed, without condemnation. You can express a gambit of emotions and not scare them off.
If you cancel plans, they don’t take it personally. They behave lovingly without a temper tantrum, since they’re honestly concerned about you. It’s not only about them. Therefore, they inquire into your benefits and possible hardships.
Similarly, when approaching social activities, you can adopt a different outlook and come out smelling like a rose, ten feet taller, a million bucks richer.
Do you typically return from dates or parties more disheartened than before you went out? A majority indicate that’s their rationale for not venturing past the front door. They prefer staying in, reading a book, or watching the boob tube, rather than suffering the disappointment of connecting on an insignificant level.
A vast number complain of superficiality and insincerity, snubbing those who solely want to hook up for one night stands or meaningless sex. How can you make the most of these circumstances without being left deflated and hopeless?
The solution is in your attitude and perception of the situation. If you’re searching for the man or woman of your dreams to sweep you off your feet, and convinced that’s the answer to your troubles, it’s a setup for frustration and discontent.
To experience satisfaction and pleasure, change your stance. Focus on the process, as opposed to the end result. Make mini goals in place of huge unattainable objectives. You don’t have to win the lottery or attract the perfect mate all in the same day.
Consider taking achievable steps, such as simply showing up at a gathering without preconceived notions. Perhaps, your aim could be to initiate conversation with a member of the opposite sex. Smaller purposes present better chances for accomplishment, thus increasing the likelihood of gratification.
The key lies in creating feasible goals with the ultimate intention of raising self esteem. Sometimes the mere act of arriving is enough to realize your objective. Anything else that transpires is icing on the cake.
If you happen to charm someone, it’s a bonus. Counting phone numbers you get or the quantity of men/women you charm and captivate, is irrelevant. Achievement is reached just by appearing at the scene.
Contemplate what you can bring to the forum in lieu of what you can acquire, e.g. a smile for a sad sack, a helpful gesture to an overwhelmed host, a welcoming wave to a wallflower.
A valuable fact to remember is that you don’t know where, when, or how you might link up with Mr. Right/Ms. Right. A merger may materialize where least expected, e.g. via a brother, sister, neighbor, co worker.
Typically, men and women primarily mingle with an individual possessing the wow factor. If you’re not their cup of tea, they may ignore you or be rude, behaving as if you’re beneath their dignity.
When operating under such a limited frame of mind, you risk losing the opportunity to magnetize an optimal partner. If you turn your back, you could conceivably miss a serendipitous moment, which, in turn, leads you to discover the authentic match you crave.
That’s why it’s vital to treat everyone with kindness and respect, following the maxim: “you encounter the same people on the way up as you do on the way down.”
Singles Slogan for the Week: I deserve friends who love and accept me unconditionally. I’m ready to communicate on an intimate level with a new or old friend by being forthright about my innermost desires.
On Wednesday July 25th, Dr. Dan Blechman graciously invites you to his infamous fun, free, and affable soiree, from 7:30-11pm, at Cabaret Tehran, 16101 Ventura Blvd., Encino, 91436, 818-985-5800.
Dance to a DJ playing great music, relish complimentary appetizers, and chat with prospects galore, in a beautiful ambience with indoor and outdoor seating, plus easy access off the 101 between Hayvenhurst and Balboa.
On the same evening, from 6:30-10pm, L7 is hosting a Free Networking Cocktail Mixer at Crustacean, 9646 Little Santa Monica Blvd. Beverly Hills, 90210. Enjoy live music, featuring a cabaret-style performance by Christine Alexander. Additional info at 310-877-6266.