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Just To Be Clear—Women Aren't Funny!

My List of NOT Funny Women, Mr. Carolla

, you know him? That guy who made his mark by being on KROQ's "LoveLine" and can be seen on past season's of the hilariously funny Dancing With the Stars and Celebrity Apprentice?

Yeah, him. Tall, goofy looking, and, apparently, an idiot.

Well, he was recently quoted in the Post as saying the following:

POST: The lesson you learned from a sexual harassment seminar was “Don’t hire chicks.” Do you hate working with women?

AC: "No. But they make you hire a certain number of chicks, and they’re always the least funny on the writing staff. The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”

So, all you women out there (and little girls too) take note. YOU'RE NOT FUNNY. Not now, not ever. That's right. The brilliantly witty has spoken.

Hmm, I wonder what would have happened if the following un-funny, mediocre chicks were ever told this....

1.

2. Imogene Coca

3. Carol Burnett

4. Mary Tyler Moore

5. Nora Ephron

6. Anne Lamott

7. Diane English

8.

9. Dorothy Parker

10. Maya Rudolph

11. Melissa McCarthy

12. Marta Kauffman

13.

14. Tina Fey

15. Sarah Silverman

16. Ruth Buzzi

17. Gilda Radner

18. Fran Lebowitz

19. Julia Louis-Dreyfus

20. Kathy Griffin

21. Wanda Sykes

22. Amy Poehler

23. Erma Bombeck

23. Bea Arthur

24. Betty White

25.

26.

27. Nancy Meyers

28.

29. Rachel Maddow (not only not funny, not smart -- poor thing)

30. Diane Keaton

And these are just the well known un-funny ladies. There are countless television writers, cartoon writers, comic book writers, playwrights, authors, actors, bloggers, moms, daughters, sisters, aunts and columnists who are so incredibly not funny living all over the planet.

That's right, Adam. We exist, we're mediocre and we're here to stay, damnit!

But, just a thought... perhaps if women were given the same freedom to say what they think without being labled a whore, slut, bitch, milf, classless or feminist maybe, just maybe, our really awful humor might have a fighting chance.

Afterall, you big funny men aren't the only ones with an awesome fart joke up your sleeve.

george July 02, 2012 at 05:12 PM
Have to agree with Adam, they're more likely to be bitchy than funny. And judging from your tone and pic, you seem to be not very funny either. BTW - the Post is trash, 10 steps below National Enquirer, and you should learn to spell peoples names properly if you want to be taken seriously.
Susan July 02, 2012 at 05:14 PM
These women don't need fart jokes to be funny. That's the difference. And thank goodness for them. Can you imagine having to believe that farting is the funniest idea out there?
Classy July 02, 2012 at 06:23 PM
Wow, George, you're a real asshole. Your post might be the funniest (or sad) one yet. You are HILARIOUS!
terry stein July 02, 2012 at 07:10 PM
Sorry, but the ones on this list that are funny are pre-sexual harrassment, token hires, the rest for the most part are just not funny - Ellen Degenerate??? Kathy Griffith, Grffin, whatever - you must be kidding - not funny ladies at all.
Stephen E. July 02, 2012 at 08:04 PM
Terry Stein - preeminent arbiter of all that is or is not funny.
Chris Jones July 02, 2012 at 10:13 PM
Love how you posted the actual quote and then twisted it to mean what you wanted it to. He only used the word mediocre in a hypothetical reference to his daughter's sense of humor. You are the one who applied mediocre to all women when that isn't what he said at all. You on the other hand are very mediocre and one of the unfunny women that is being referred to.
george July 02, 2012 at 10:28 PM
In other words, don't criticize unless you can take being criticized, it's the first thing you learn as a comedian, though some of us will learn the hard way. ;O
Skraeling July 03, 2012 at 04:55 AM
Has no one heard Wanda Sykes...that is one very funny woman.
Mat K July 03, 2012 at 05:11 AM
Please allow me apologize for the troglodytic, pseudonym-using cowards of my gender who only prove that this kind of hateful mysoginism isn't limited to shock jocks (provided those aren't all Carolla's responses). Like racism it is learned, and like racists they are the lowest common denominator of intelligent life...too dumb to realize they just made Susan's article much more important than a rant.
Chris Jones July 03, 2012 at 09:54 AM
Mat you are probably either actually a chick or wish you were one.
Susan McMartin July 03, 2012 at 02:17 PM
george, if you aren't a fan of the post but are a fan of mr. corolla than you should read his book. his thoughts about women are in there. and, thank you, bitchy was the other word i meant to add to the list -- whore, slut, milf, classless, feminist and bitchy.
Susan McMartin July 03, 2012 at 02:20 PM
thanks, susan!
Susan McMartin July 03, 2012 at 02:25 PM
terry, "token hires"?? really. i think carol burnett and mary tyler moore might not agree.
Susan McMartin July 03, 2012 at 02:26 PM
stephen, aren't we lucky to finally have a leader in terry -- someone who can safely guide us along the funny trail?
Susan McMartin July 03, 2012 at 02:29 PM
chris, actually, i didn't twist a thing and if i had posted the entire article he went on to say much more disparaging remarks.
Susan McMartin July 03, 2012 at 02:34 PM
george, believe me. if i couldn't handle being criticized i would never have become a writer, wife, mom or member of the PTA.
Susan McMartin July 03, 2012 at 02:44 PM
mat, thank you but no need to apologize. like you said... let them speak. i quite expected to be called an unfunny, mediocre bitch by someone in response to this column. sometimes i like the predictability of life, don't you?
Jeffrey July 06, 2012 at 01:54 PM
Susan - It is much better to be a "mediocre bitch" than a world class one.
Jason July 12, 2012 at 07:28 AM
Chris that is uncalled for, I really believe in mat's words. I have always believed in women's rights and so I wear makeup before i leave the house to be presentable a man whether (Gay, bi, trans, CD, or even Metro) can still have femminist principals and while Adam deludes people into believe women are objects to be both worshipped and "used" i doubt that his morals are truly in the gutter compared to his co-workers/writers who make these puns in order to have more "male" attracted audience. Let us not forget the" Love Line" a good concept for various couples to get solutions on the radio, but personally I feel that Susan is outlining that women no matter how much adam feels or thinks this is appropriate that we have since the 1920s been fighting this war for female equality. Why start being biggots now there is enough of the male population who already lack the altrusim of what the world is truly about. Whether you like it or not, women are always going to be here... just like us "GLBT" community. Either you evolve with society or just sit in the primordial soup that our specieis began in and lose all respect from society. Susan truly inspirational aritcle, and as a gay man i always felt that women have much to teach men... It just takes the "minority" to truly understand what life and co-existence is truly about. God Bless you

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