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Health & Fitness

Forgive Your Self First, Then Forgive Everyone Else

 Did you grow up in a family where unrelenting criticism was common and you could do no good? Were you constantly trying to live up to their fierce expectations, but to no avail?
Were your primary caregivers extremely hard on you, invariably referencing your moral fiber as worthless, incompetent, insignificant, and stupid?
Was the result confusion, chaos, and craziness because you inherently knew you weren’t any of these labels?
On the contrary, were you constantly praised even if uncalled for? Did you exist under the impression you could do no wrong? Was there minimal discipline, with rarely administered boundaries? Were you allowed free reign?
In either case, there’s a sense of not being enough, a dilemma many have dealt with for eons. It’s this background that sets the stage for fulfillment in future relationships.
Did your role models hold grudges ad infinitum? Were you taught kindness, compassion, and sympathy? Was there persistent withholding, lying by omission? Was passive/aggressive conduct predominant?
Are you still beating yourself up, continuing the pattern that began in your childhood? Is it difficult for you to forgive yourself and others for flaws and imperfections?
Begin with a list of ten things to pardon yourself for. It can be general or detailed. You may include simply being a less than ideal parent, friend, lover, neighbor, worker, boss.
You might mention specific instances, e.g. how you treated a former mate, overreacted with an associate, let your anger explode in an ugly, mean manner.
Everyone has skeletons in the closet, regrets, and wishes for do-overs. Here’s an opportunity to clear away the past, move forward, and receive the love you deserve.
Typically, single people repeat behaviors from previous liaisons, keeping them from starting a new connection with a clean slate. They proceed in the same vein, merely trading partners, yet with identical results. Breaking the cycle requires healing the shame that binds you.
Have you broken up with a flame in a post it? Have you disappeared physically or emotionally without explanation? Have you entered your cave for days on end? Have you cheated? Have you abused, belittled, ignored, made fun of your precious?
Have you stayed with a paramour, albeit the passion was gone, afraid to be alone, hiding behind the excuse of not wanting to be the dumpor?
Have you pretended to enjoy sex when in fact you were visualizing your concept of Prince Charming/Lady Madonna the entire time? Have you suspended affection rather than convey disappointment or hurt?
Once you’ve acknowledged and accepted your defects and insecurities, you can show leniency to close cohorts for their weaknesses.
Remember that what bothers you incessantly about your intimate companion is precisely the issue screaming within you to be addressed. Bless your boyfriend/girlfriend for their limitations, presenting you with the chance to cure what ails your heart and psyche. Find gratitude for the treasured link you have, acting as a mirror into your soul.
Be thankful for the difficult people you’ve encountered and traumas you’ve endured that have carried you this far. They’ve supplied you with the strength and courage, crucial to allowing your character to develop and soar.
Once rid of the guilt and embarrassment that constrains, restricts, and hinders, you’ll be able to fly higher and lighter, ready for the most magnificent, miraculous, marvelous, mind boggling, and memorable experience you can imagine…riding in a hot air balloon!!
Don’t wait. Put this on the top of your bucket list immediately. Do not pass go.  Do not collect 200. Prepare to have your spirit transformed. Bring your intended, possibility, Mr./Ms. Right or Not So Right, bff, buddy, chum, pal, acquaintance, relative, offspring, or go solo.
Words can’t describe how awesome this adventure is. The euphoria lasts longer than sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll. Years of anxiety and stress will melt away, perhaps due to flying so close to the sun. Your psychological baggage will figuratively drop in the fields below.
Practically touching the heavens, you can take comfort in angel’s wings, soothed by gifts of hope, peace, and serenity. Go to www.sunriseballoons.com for this magic affair. Take pleasure in a champagne continental breakfast; in flight drinks and snacks; personalized photos; and a warm, friendly staff to ease your mind.
On Thursday May 23, you’re invited to a Singular City Singles, ‘Mad Men-themed cocktail party,’ at Nic’s Beverly Hills, 453 North Cañon Drive, Beverly Hills, CA 90210.
The fun starts promptly at 7 p.m. where for the first hour you’ll savor complimentary appetizers and a 1960s-priced Mad Men cocktail for only $2.50. There’s also Mad Men drink specials like “What a Nice Pear You Have,” “Lemon Drop Blush” and “Goose Me” for just $7.
Everyone gets to visit Nic’s VODBOX for a shot of freezing cold vodka on the house. The VODBOX is the ultimate walk-in, drink-in exhibitionist freezer designed to satisfy connoisseurs with vodka in its purest form.
From 8-9 p.m. Nic’s is offering a 20 percent discount for all items from the dinner menu. Look for the group in the V-Zone (by the VODBOX).
Mad Men-themed attire is encouraged, not required. No charge for members; $20 for nonmembers at eventbrite. Join, rsvp, or obtain additional info at: invite@singularcity.com.

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